REPO'd Again: The Married Life
by Wolfdemon1941
Summary: Here it is! Inuyasha Tashio now has a fiance. And she's pregnant. Add in an old enemy, and a sinister new plot, and you get only one thing. A recipe for mayhem, hilarity, and morning sickness!
1. It's Not Easy

**Hahahaha! You thought I was done! Since I really love all you people who reviewed the first one…TADA! REPO'd again the Married Life!**

Disclaimer: Didn't we do this before? So why do I keep doing it? I don't own anything!

You ever try living with a pregnant woman? Let me say this…it's Hell. Pure hell. Not to say it isn't great, I love my fiancé, it's just, well, who ever heard of putting ketchup on chocolate ice cream? And taco flavored granola bars? And why does she wait until one in the morning to make me go get one? Inuyasha, you're in deep. And there ain't no way out.

I was repeating this phrase one morning while I was slaving over a hot stove, cooking bacon for my almost wife, who presently had her head in the toilet. She was only two months in. you ever heard that song…how'd it go…_been crazy all day long, and it's only Monday Mr. Mom._

I had the bacon frying to a crisp brownness, when a gorgeous woman dressed in a bathrobe sauntered into the kitchen. She had a slight bump on her stomach, and I personally thought it made her sexy as hell.

"Good morning my sweet," I said, trying not to induce early mood swings, "And how was your evening?"

"Well, for starters, darling, your kid kept waking me up to pee."

Shit, wrong line. Again. Think fast genius…

"Well, look at the bright side. Only two months, three weeks, and four days until D-day."

June seventeenth. Our set wedding day. Great, now I had to puke. The only thing more nerve racking than becoming a father was becoming a husband. And if I didn't make it the happiest day of Kagome's life, I had promises from three women, who shall remain unnamed, that my nuts would be on the chopping block. And I was sort of still attached to them.

"Speaking of D-day," Kagome said, "Did we get the menu that Kilala said she'd send us?"

"Not yet. But I'm expecting it any day now."

In my one stroke of brilliance, I hired Kilala Kitsune, one of the most prestigious wedding planners in our great city. It was rumored that she had a say in the dress design for none other than Catharine Middleton. She didn't come cheap, but her work was flawless.

There was a knock at the door, as Kagome made a sudden dash for the bathroom. I opened the door and came face to face with Kikyo. Ex-girlfriend, ex-lover, and recently, ex-con. I looked over her shoulder at my Ferrari, to make sure it was void of any key marks or sledgehammer dents.

I stood in my "kiss the cook" apron, and tried my best to look pissed off.

"What?" I had my hand on the shotgun Kagome hides in the umbrella rack. Classy huh?

"I wanted to see if it was true. If you really did knock up Kagome."

Speak of an angel and she will appear. My wife-to-be appeared at my shoulder.

"Kikyo, I may be pregnant, but I can still shoot fine. Go back to the pit from whence you came."

"I would. But I need help. And you were the only people I could come to."

"Nu-uh. No no no no no. I don't help convicts." I told her.

"You can try to ignore me. But I have a feeling that our paths will cross sooner than you think."

Great. She became a psychic in jail.

She left and I turned to Kagome, "You feel up to work today?"

"Just get me to the car, I'll be fine."

* * *

Forty five minutes, and two emergency pit-stops later, we walked into the office. Miroku and Yura were leaned over Yura's desk.

"What's up?" I asked.

Miroku looked pained, "We need more help. No offence to you two, but we just need more people. And these are the closest to human beings as we could come. I have one of the them waiting in the back room. "

I grabbed the file he had in his hand, "Vincent Ortega. Has a background in Special Forces. I don't know why this is a hard choice. Where is this guy, I'll give him the test, see if he shapes up."

I went in back and called for Vincent.

"Just call me Vinnie. But don't get it mixed up with my cousin Vinnie. I'm better looking."

Vinnie was tall and thin. He spoke with a heavy New York accent. He had oily black hair that was in a sort of buzz cut. I also noticed he was playing with a clock, a screw driver, and a few wires.

"Um. Maybe that isn't such a good idea in here."

"What this? I'm just trying to fix my alarm clock."

I almost believed him.

"So, you were in Special Forces?"

"Yup. Demolition department."

He had a box of various items at his feet. Inside appeared to be fuses, wires, bolts, screws, and sticks of dynamite. Wait, dynamite?

"Hey, what's in that box?" I asked him.

"Oh, gunpowder, nitroglycerin, notepads, fuses, wicks, glue. And paperclips. Big ones."

He was going to blow us all straight to hell.

"Um, so how did you get into explosives?"

"I was working in a pizza joint about ten years ago. And, I guess there was this leak nest door. Next thing I knew, BOOM! No more Chinese Laundromat."

"Look, maybe I could give you a sign-up form, and we'll call you if the position can be filled."

He grabbed his box and stood, "Fine by me. I was only waiting in here for what, ten minutes. Eleven tops."

Once he left, and Miroku had gone back into his office to post more want ads, Kagome grabbed another REPO file.

So here's how it works. You sign a loan agreement from the government on a new set of wheels. You keep up on your payments, fine and dandy. But if you don't, then Kagome and I come in. we track down people who don't make payments and legally steal their cars. It's great fun until you get shot at or burn down a building full of weed and get high in the process.

"Antoine Moliere. Drives a 2010 Honda Civic. Guess it's our now."

* * *

We arrived at a small one story ranch about five miles outside of town. I didn't see a car parked in the driveway, but there was a two door garage toward the back of his property. Garages made me suspicious now.

I knocked on the door and discovered it unlocked and partially opened. Kagome noticed this as well and drew her Glock. I followed suit, and we entered. We began clearing rooms one by one until we reached the bedroom at the back. Kagome had gone to investigate the garage, so I opened the door and walked in and turned on the light. There was a bunk bed toward the back of the room.

I went to the bed and pulled back the sheets on the bottom bunk. Dirt. Several little piles of dirt of different colors and sizes. As I was wondering what the hell it was, I turned around to find a short fat man looking at me with a pissed off look to his face.

"You have disturbed the dirt."

"What the—"

"YOU HAVE DISTURBED THE DIRT!"

He rushed past me and began to rearrange the little piles on the bed. Kagome must have heard the commotions, because she was suddenly at my back, looking just as dumbstruck.

I tapped the little guy on the shoulder, "Hey. We're here for your car. You didn't make payments."

"Phooey on your little games. Besides, that thing no longer works."

We were out at the garage. I made the mole promise me he had no narcotics on the premises. The little Honda sat, looking not a day out of the factory. Moliere gave me the keys.

"See for yourself."

I tried the ignition. Nothing. Well I'll be damned.

I popped the hood and Kagome took a look. She finally popped her head back up. She had her eyes narrowed of Moliere.

"Where is it?"

"What?"

"You know what. The distributer cap."

The only sure fire way to de-theft your car is to remove the distributer cap. That way no electricity gets to the engine.

"I'll ask again. Where is it?" This was going to end badly.

"I do not know what you are talking about."

Kagome found a jar of dirt sitting on a workbench.

She held it up for all to see, "Hey, you filthy little mole. Look what I got. I got a jar of dirt."

"Noooo! Not the dirt! Anything but the dirt!"

I was having a hard time keeping a straight face.

Moliere dug through some boxes and came up with a little cap, "Here is your thing-a-majiggy. Just don't disturb the dirt!"

* * *

Ten minutes later, we were cursing down West Avenue. I had the Civic, while Kagome was in our Ferrari. We pulled into the office.

"Never agree to handle that guy's claim again." I told Yura. "That was the weirdest experience of my life."

"You got the dirt guy huh?"

I nodded.

Yura brought up a package, "This came for you Inuyasha. It's from a Kilala Kitsune."

Kagome came rushing forward, "My color swatches!"

I took an educated guess, "So I guess this means we won't be able to catch the Rangers game tonight?"

She sent me a glare, "Only kidding." I amended. I patted myself on the back. I was learning fast.

* * *

"So what do you like? Eggshell, or cream?" We'd been at this for three hours. I now knew there were at least fifty shades of white. And red was definitely an angry color.

"They both look white to me."

"Yes but on is definitely more white than the other."

Give me strength, "Okay, eggshell."

She nodded and put the last swatch back in the box.

"I'll mail this tomorrow. By the way, I made an appointment with my OB/GYN next week. It should be close to the time when we can tell if it will be a bot or girl."

Now, contrary to most demon rumors, we can't smell the gender of our children. That's nature's way of punishing us; by making us buy a nursery set for a boy, and then come to find out that we're getting a girl.

We were sitting on the couch, doing nothing, when I hatched an idea.

"Did the doctor say it was okay to, um, you know, while you're pregnant?"

She threw the remote across the room. Then, she attacked me.

"Finally! It's been three damn weeks. I thought you'd run dry!"

Please R&R! Are you happy now? You didn't want it to end, so here you go. A whole next story. And as for the references, I could not resist!


	2. From Bad to Worse

Disclaimer: I own nothing. P.S. This has kind of turned into a cross over. I won't change the summary, but just fair warning. **Also, sensitive material ahead!**

* * *

I woke up amidst a tangle of sheets and naked flesh. I thought back to the night before. For being pregnant, Kagome sure did have a lot of energy.

Speaking of Kagome, she was currently in the bathroom, heaving her stomach out into the toilet. I knew this was a bad sign. When Kagome's life is miserable, my life is miserable. However, I knew that Junior always kept her busy for at least ten minutes in there, so I took the opportunity to go start breakfast. Waffles, bacon, and an egg over easy for me…crackers for Kagome. Anything else at this point never stayed down long enough.

As I was watching bacon fry, my mouth watering, Kagome entered the kitchen. I knew she would be in a bad mood, however, she had a smile on her face that I knew was the result of last night. At least I had one thing going for me. She won't want to kill me as long as I keep her satisfied.

"Crackers?" She asked.

"Here." I tossed her a box. She tore open the packaging, and scarfed down four whole wheat crackers in one bite. I glanced down at her stomach. A small bump was forming, giving testament to the fact that we were going to be parents.

Even the word produced uneasy feelings in the pit of my stomach. My folks made everything seem so easy. Hell, even Fluffy had the whole 'dad' thing down pretty good. I, on the other hand, had a while to go. I had subscribed to several parenting magazines, bought books, watched TV shows, and I had watched _9 Months_ about a hundred times. But Hugh grant made everything look easy. The only parenting advice that actually made sense to me came from Bill Cosby. Kagome didn't agree, but hey, the man raised three children. And he had good theories. I mean, what's not to understand about the brain damage? Children have the brain damage.

Kagome noticed me staring, "Excited daddy?"

I looked up, "Excited, terrified, what's the difference?"

"You'll do fine."

"I certainly hope so." I could hear Bill laughing at me.

* * *

We entered the office to find another agent wannabe sitting at Yura's desk. Although technically, I was an agent wannabe, so I didn't have a lot of room to talk.

"For the last time, we don't shoot people."

"Yeah, but what if I kinda know this guy who sorta owes me money—"

The Glock came out, "Get. Out"

I barely blinked before the glass doors were swinging closed.

"Jeez," I said, "That was a little harsh."

"Okay then, you can talk to the next one. She's in the back."

_She?_ This should be interesting.

I opened the office door, and a drop dead gorgeous woman was sitting in the couch sipping tea. The woman was clearly a demon of some sort. She had white hair that flowed to her waist in luscious waves. She was tanned to perfection with a small purple triangle in the middle of her forehead. She was also dressed in typical secret agent fashion, black everything, and if I wasn't already engaged to another beautiful woman, I would have melted to the floor.

"A-and y-you are?"

She smirked at me. Crap.

"The name's Urd. And you are?"

"Inuyasha Tashio. Senior agent and engaged to be married." Wait why did that come out?

"Since we're being so formal, I guess my full title would be former NYPD detective, second class, covert affairs unit."

Kagome chose that particular moment to walk in. even from across the room I could see her jaw go slack. Her eyes rapidly switched from Urd to me and back again.

Kagome extended her hand, "Kagome Higurashi. Senior agent." At least she didn't screw up the intro.

They shook hands and I could feel the tension in the room building. They exchanged the usual information an applicant would be required to provide, Urd all the while sending little glances my way. I tried as best I could to keep my head down, looking at her file, which was quite impressive. She had two sisters, both younger. She had been a cop for five years before retiring at the age of twenty seven. Just last year. She had disarmed several major dope dealers in the state of New York, and a few in Jersey. The file also quoted her as being essential in the arrest of one Naraku Onigumo.

Wait, what? How was she involved?

"Excuse me," I interrupted, "But how exactly were you involved in the Onigumo case?"

"I tailed six of his major distributers, traced thousands of dollars in dope back to him, and I was the one who got to throw his bitch girlfriend in the cage."

I suddenly had much more respect for her. So this was the woman who threw Kikyo into the hole. I was tempted to ask what it felt like.

Kagome finally stood and gathered her papers. "Thank you for coming in. We'll make a decision, and get back to you in about a week."

"Thank you for your time." She said. And then she stood to leave.

As she was walking out, Kagome spoke, loud enough for her to hear, "Inuyasha, don't forget, we have an appointment to find out what the baby is tonight."

There it was. I knew she'd say something. I was just hoping she wouldn't start throwing punches.

After Urd left, I pulled Kagome into the back office, "What gives? Our appointment isn't until next week."

"She was looking at you like you were lunch. I was telling her to back off."

If I weren't in danger of being killed by an angry pregnant woman right then, it would have been so hot.

"Relax, she's just a potential coworker. Although she would be best for the job."

"I know that, and it pisses me off."

We walked back into the office to find Miroku standing with Koga Ookami.

"What now," I asked, "Did we accidentally discover an underground weapons dealer?"

"No. but it seems as though a previous acquaintance of ours is in a bit of trouble. She said she attempted to speak with you, Inuyasha, but failed."

Shit. Kikyo was right.

"What's kikyo's problem?"

"Apparently she's being threatened. Some big-shot who claims to have been Naraku's boss is sending her E-mails that have suggested that she is still an employee, and that her vacation time is up. Kikyo told him to shove it, and got mugged for her troubles."

I put two and two together, "And now she wants protection."

"Correct. I've done all I can, but she isn't safe in her house. I need to put her somewhere, but nobody she knows will take her."

Gee . I wonder why?

I suddenly had a premonition. Why then was Koga here? And why was he telling me Kikyo had no place to go? Oh God, don't tell me…

"So I was wondering if she could stay with you for a while. Just until the case is cleared up."

No, no, no, no! Why me? I had a good life. A house, a dog, a fiancé with a baby on the way. And now my bitch ex-girlfriend is counting on me to see that she doesn't get murdered in her sleep. Just my fucking luck.

"And if I refuse?" I asked.

"Then I get a court order."

"You can't get a court order to force me to house her."

"Ayame works for the judge. She can get one for me, trust me."

I really wanted to bang my head into the wall, "Fine. She can stay. But I want no moral responsibility. If she decides to go get herself killed, it's not my problem. I'll only provide food and shelter. Maybe just shelter."

"I knew you'd see it my way." Koga told me.

* * *

Kagome was throwing things. I mean really pitching them around the house at a speed that would get her a spot on MLB All-stars. Jimmy Morris would be proud.

"Why did you agree to let that woman live here!?"

"I had no choice. Koga threatened to go above my head."

"Inu, we have certain, um, things we do when we're alone in the house. How can we, um, do things when she's in the next room?"

I hadn't thought of that. Damn.

"I'm sure the case won't take long. A few days at the most."

"I am pregnant Inuyasha. My current libido is at a level akin to that of a teenage boy's."

I suddenly felt her arousal spike. Her eyes dilated, and she grew a devilish little smirk.

"Well then," she said, "I suppose we should get as much in before she gets here was we can."

Thank you God. She dragged me into the bedroom, threw me on the bed, and attacked my pants. Before I knew it my boxers were off, and Kagome's mouth was doing things that I had only read about in those stupid Fanfics you read as a kid.

Kagome sat up and threw her shirt and bra off in one go. She leaned down and smashed her lips onto mine. She grabbed my hand and forced it to her chest. As I squeezed her breast and teased the little brown tip, she reached down and removed her own pants.

She climbed on top of me, and just as she was aligning me at her entrance, the stupid, motherfucking doorbell rang.

"GODDAMMIT!" I screamed.

"You see?" Kagome said, "She isn't even in the house, and already she's fucking things up."

* * *

Ten minutes later, Kikyo was making herself at home on the couch, and Kagome and I were plotting ways to kill her.

"I swear, if she ruins our sex life one more time, I'll gut her like a fish." Kagome said.

"Hey," a voice from hell called, "You got any chardonnay? Please tell me you at least have some chardonnay in this miserable little shack you call a house."

Kagome went for the kitchen knife set.

"Now, now," I told her, "If you do that, then you'll have to clean the blood off the floor and the sink, and we'll have a body to deal with. Just put the knife down."

"I want my sex life back."

I gave it some thought, "You know, the Ferrari's outside. And I know of a dark secluded alley not far from here."

She stuffed a full condom box in her purse, "Let's go."

"A full box?"

"Hey, you gotta take advantage of an opportunity."

I couldn't agree more.

I called to Kikyo, "We'll be back. We're going to get some chardonnay."

Kagome chuckled, "Where are you giong to find chardonnay at this time of night?"

"7/11. I'll just buy some beer. Put in in a glass and tell her it's some expensive drink that only the finest eateries have it."

Kagome shook with silent laughter.

**Please R&R! Sorry about the wait. I had a bout of writer's block. And now I've got two stories to add to. Thanks for hanging in there guys! **


	3. Boiling Point

**Hey guys. I am sooooooo sorry about leaving you guys hanging like that. I'm doing most of my writing on the weekends now and I've had a sort of writer's block. But never fear, in the words of the great Terminator…I'm back.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing**

Here's a tip. When trying to have naughty car sex, use an SUV. As it was, Kagome and I were trying to preserve the mood as best we could, while at the same time trying to get comfortable in the passenger seat of a very small car.

Finally we sat up, exhausted. "So why'd you bring the condoms?" I asked her.

She shrugged, "I guess I was so pissed off at Kikyo I forgot. I just grabbed them."

"Well remind me not to suggest the Ferrari again. My back is killing me."

"It's not my fault you fell on the gear shift."

"In my defense, you were in control most of the time."

"I didn't push you!"

"That may be, but it was your idea to turn on the radio for some 'mood music'"

"Yeah, but it worked didn't it?"

I smirked, "Yeah."

"So do we head home or do we go again?"

I sighed, "We'd better get home before Satan's mistress destroys my house."

We were not prepared for what we saw when we entered my house. Wall to wall people. The music was so loud I felt my ears beginning to bleed. There were people drinking, smoking whatever the hell was giving off the odor that made my wallpaper shrivel up, and my bedroom door was locked and I could hear a rhythmic thumping and moaning coming from inside. My senses told me only one person could be fucking somebody in MY bed. Kikyo.

While Kagome went off to remedy the music situation, I drew my gun and kicked my own damn door down. Sure enough, there was the bitch, riding some druggie like he was Thunder the Wonder Stallion. They both froze when their privacy was interrupted.

I aimed at the crack head, "Out of my Goddamn bedroom. NOW!"

The poor bastard screamed and ran. Kikyo, on the other hand, stood her ground.

"Why the hell do you have to ruin all my fun?"

"Ruin your fun?!" I was beyond pissed. In the other room, I could hear the sound of a plug being pulled. There was a brief commotion and then silence. Then I could hear what sounded like somebody's head being bashed into a wall.

"First off, this is MY house. Not yours. I make the rules. And rule number one is: no fucking wild parties."

"I don't see why this is such a big deal. It's your job to do what I want."

"No, I'm responsible for making sure you don't end up dead. And I'm rethinking my obligations."

"Aren't we supposed to be the normal family unit?"

"Yeah. Kagome and I can do that. We can be the regular boring family with a baby on the way. Which we are. Sort of. But for you that would require you not throwing wild parties that could get me arrested, and not snacking on children while they dream."

We went into the living room where Kagome was looking like she was ready to commit murder. The house had been vacated, but the mess wasn't. Beer bottles, bags of various snacks, liquids I couldn't identify, and condoms littered my floor. Kagome was vibrating.

"Look at what she did to my clean house! Let me at her Inu, I'll kill her!"

"As much as I would love to, I can't provide for you and Junior in prison. I'll give Koga a call. See if I can get a permit to tie her up with duct tape in the closet."

"Now I've got to burn my favorite sheets. Our mattress, our pillows, our whole damn bedroom!"

Kikyo spoke up, "Well if you two weren't off doing the nasty in the back seat of a car somewhere, this could have been avoided."

A knock at the door stopped me from shooting her. I opened it to Koga and a few other officers.

"We got a complaint about loud music and partying coming from this house."

I pointed at Kikyo, "Talk to her. Kagome and I weren't home."

Koga's face was stern, "Kikyo, did you cause this?"

"I was only having a little fun. Besides, it's their job to do what I want. Inuyasha threatened to shoot me."

"I could see why." He said.

Kagome walked by carrying our sheets with a pair of kitchen tongs. She was wearing a welding mask. She disappeared into the backyard and we heard the sound of propane being ignited.

A deputy looked at Koga, "Can she do that?"

"I won't tell if you don't."

All officers nodded.

"Koga something has to be done," I said, "She's ruining my life."

"Not a lot can be done. We don't have a secure location just yet."

"How about the bottom of the Hudson?"

"I'll pretend I didn't hear that."

"How long is this going to take?"

"A week. Tops."

"And if Kagome and I were on the case?"

"Maybe a few days at the most. But I can't put you on the case while you're guarding my star witness."

"And if I go to a higher authority?"

"My boss would agree with me."

"Higher than your boss."

"So would the district attorney."

"Your wife genius."

"Oh. Her. You wouldn't dare."

"I'm a desperate man Koga."

He looked conflicted for a moment, "Fine. You're in. but if this deal goes sour, my ass isn't going to be on the DA's chopping block."

Kagome popped her head in, "Hey who wants hotdogs?"

* * *

Kagome and I lay in bed that night, thinking of possible ways to cover up the sudden disappearance of Kikyo.

"At least Koga agreed to take her to a motel for the night. It gives us time to Kikyo-proof the house." I told her.

"You mean like install a minefield in the front yard?"

"No the dog has to go out there. I wouldn't want him stepping in what's left of Kikyo. It wouldn't be sanitary."

Kagome suddenly rolled on top of me. "At least she's gone. And you know what that means?"

I feigned innocence, "Ice cream for dinner?"

She suddenly looked interested in that thought, "With pickles and mayonnaise?"

"What?"

"Never mind. I was thinking of something more along the lines of—." She whispered a suggestion in my ear before gently nipping at it. I mentally told Junior to put on a seatbelt, because this was going to be a bumpy ride.

After blissfully falling asleep an hour later, I was jolted from my slumber by Kagome.

"Quick Inu! Gut up! I need you!"

"Can you wait until morning? I'm all dried up."

"Not that, although that would be nice at the moment."

I suddenly sat ramrod straight, "Is it the baby?"

"Well…yes."

I jumped out of bed and grabbed my clothes, "Okay, I had this all planned out. You start breathing while I go get the car."

"Inu, baby, I'm only two months along. It's not _that _time yet."

I dropped my coat, "Oh. What then?"

"I'm hungry."

"You know where the kitchen is."

"Yes, but I need tacos."

"Tacos?"

"Yes, with chocolate chips and maple syrup."

I inwardly groaned. Another dismal trip to Taco Bell where I would place a ridiculous order, have to bear the look on the cashier's face, and explain for the two hundredth time that it was for a pregnant woman who had taste buds from Venus and the stomach to rival that of Andrew Zimmern's. Although the one place on Broadway seemed to know me better than the others so I opted for them.

Sure enough the cashier gave me a knowing look and a coupon for ten percent off my next meal. That would come in handy should my wonderful fiancé discover a craving for a burrito covered in cranberry sauce.

I returned home and almost laughed as Kagome's eyes lit up with a hunger I'd only seen when her hormones acted up and her libido went sky high. And she attacked the tacos with the same ferocity that she attacked me with. I was suddenly jealous of a taco.

As she ate we discussed work.

"So what do you think of this Urd woman?" she asked.

"She seems to fit the application well. I seriously think we should give her a chance."

"Fine by me. But if she looks at you like you're lunch again she's dead."

"She wasn't turning me into lunch. I'd know that look. You give it to me at least once a week."

She bushed, and I knew that I'd escaped her wrath. I'd been reading on how to please a hormonally imbalanced woman and learned that making her laugh or embarrassed was the only true way to keep from being castrated. So I did it on a regular basis.

She changed the subject, "So what do we do when Kikyo comes back?"

"About what?"

"You know…"

I hadn't thought about that. The car idea turned out to be a total bust, although I was thinking of suggesting we invest in an SUV. Maybe an Escalade. Something with a lot of leg room.

I suddenly had a eureka moment. "Honeymoon." I said.

She looked puzzled, "Honeymoon?"

"Yeah. I can convince Koga that in order to better protect the bitch, it may be necessary to relocate to a distant location. Like Miami, or Tahiti. We can get her an unlimited pool pass while WE hang a 'do not disturb' sing on the door."

Kagome caught on quickly, "She can have her own room with a door connecting to ours so we can check on her once and a while to make sure she's not dead."

I wiggled my eyebrows, "And we can lock it whenever we want."

She gave a low growl in her throat. She grabbed my shirt collar and dragged me toward the hallway, "Work can wait for another half hour."

Damn I'm good.

* * *

"So let me get this straight," Koga said, his face in his hands, "You want me to allow you to take a key witness to God knows where so you and Kagome can have a honeymoon?"

"Two honeymoons." I corrected, "We still plan to have another one after the wedding. Speaking of which did you get an invitation?"

"Yeah. Ayame liked the little bow at the top and the lavender scent."

I did a mental victory dance. Kagome and I had argued over lavender vs. vanilla for three hours. She only gave in because she had to go puke.

Koga spoke again, "Fine. You can have your vacation. Just because I think it would be a good idea to distance Kikyo from the city for now. And because I feel sorry for you since she completely ruined your sex life."

"Hey man, don't knock a Ferrari 'till you try it." I wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of seeing my private life in shambles. Besides, he'd get his. Kagome had been in touch with Ayame quite frequently, asking her for advice on little things like which drawer should the silverware go in. And while Kagome got lessons on how to be a housewife, Ayame shared certain secrets that were passed on to me. And as of last week, Ayame had found two pink lines on a total of twelve home pregnancy tests. She was going to spring it on Koga next week on their anniversary.

When Koga was complaining because he had to go out for chocolate flavored bananas at three in the morning, that's when he'd crack. And I would be there to stomp on him.

**Please R&R! **


	4. The Mile High Club

**I don't own a damn thing, so stop asking me!**

Note to self: five o'clock is a _**bad **_time to wake up two women to get ready to leave. Even if it is for an all-expenses paid trip to Hawaii. However I only had regrets about waking one woman. The Devil's spawn I could have cared less about. Poor Kagome had gotten up a record four times that night, complaining that Junior was playing ice hockey on her bladder. She had only gotten a few hours of sleep, and I was contemplating forcing Kikyo to carry her to the car so she could sleep longer. But I figured Kikyo would do something stupid like drop her and disfigure the poor kid so I had to wake her.

I gently shook her shoulder, "Kagome? Babe, time to get up."

She squinted her eyes further shut, "Inu I love you, but if you don't leave me alone so help me I will castrate you with a dull butter knife."

"Come on." I shook her again, "I'll let you pour cold water on Kikyo."

She opened one eye, "A Dixie cup or a dinner glass?"

I smirked. I had her. "Dinner glass."

She threw the covers back, "I can sleep on the road."

She went into the kitchen for a glass, and I entered the forbidden cave. Otherwise known as the guest bedroom.

Kikyo was still asleep. She was snoring with one of those creepy black masks over her face. What wasn't under mask was coated in a slimy green substance. My first thought was ectoplasm. My second was that she had had a quickie with the Hulk.

Kagome came in, in her hand a glass filled with water with some ice cubes added for extra power.

I nodded. She struck.

Kikyo came awake with a shriek that could wake the dead. She went ramrod straight up in the bed with the green slime running at frightening angles down her face. Kagome and I had retreated to the door in case we had to make a quick getaway.

Kikyo slowly started to walk toward us, as though she were awake enough to be pissed, but not enough to be able to do something about it.

I watched her walk with qualities of the undead and couldn't resist, "Darkness falls across the land. The midnight hour is close at hand."

"Shumffuupp." The creature spoke.

"What?" I asked.

She pulled up the mask and wiped some slime from her mouth, "I said shut the fuck up."

"tsk, tsk. Such naughty language. And in front of a child no less."

"Please. It's not like you don't give the poor kid trauma by having as much sex as you two do. Seriously, it's like poking a bag of puppies with a stick. The kid's first words will be 'I want a lawyer.'"

"Kagome," I said, "Shoot her."

Kagome, ever the voice of reason, spoke up, "In case you both have forgotten, we need to be at the airport by seven thirty."

Twenty minutes later, we all had our bags packed and we were standing in front of the car in the driveway. Only one car. The Ferrari. A two seater.

"Well," I said, "Kag's preggers and I have to drive so Kikyo, in the trunk."

Her look was priceless. She thought I was actually serious. I wasn't. Almost.

"I am NOT getting the trunk of your car. My hair will get all messed up."

Kagome pulled a cell from her purse. She dialed a number, spoke for a minute, and hung up.

"Just a few moments." She told us.

If I haven't mentioned that I absolutely love my fiancé, I'll do it again. I absolutely love her. I was currently watching a Rolls Royce Phantom roll down my street. It was black, the front end screamed elegance and class, and it had four doors.

Kikyo swooned, "Now THAT'S what I'm talkin' about. Damn Inu, your girl's got connections!"

* * *

Ten minutes later, we were rolling down Broadway, my black aviators glistening off the street lights as I drove the $400,000 monster down the street. Kikyo was sitting shotgun, playing with the radio and waving to everybody possible. She was also adorned with black sunglasses, a look of sheer bliss on her face. Dear God, I thought, we might actually not kill each other on this trip. Kagome was lounging in back, laid across the entire backseat, drinking Coca Cola out of a Champaign flute,—pregnant women can't drink booze—and luxuriously dropping grapes into her mouth from the vine. Damn I love my life.

We pulled into the airport and reluctantly had to relinquish the car back to a man who identified himself as with "the Agency". Kagome said he was legit, so I handed over the keys. I grabbed the bags and headed for what I knew was going to be a TSA hell hole. If they told Kagome to spread 'em, I was going to go ballistic. I listened to the news. TSA agents couldn't afford porn, so they got off patting down unsuspecting women in line. But let's face it folks, if you're patting down an 80 year old women because she's been labeled a potential terrorist…game's over guys, sorry.

Kagome had another trick up her sleeve, however, as another man in black stopped me half way through my walk of shame, and directed us to a door marked "EMPLOYEES ONLY". Once outside, we were greeted by the sight of a G5 sitting on the tarmac.

I looked over at Kagome, "Seriously?"

She shrugged, "I pulled a few strings. Besides, I knew you would be dreading customs."

"How rich are you?" Kikyo asked.

I hadn't planned on marrying for money, but it was a nice added bonus.

* * *

We boarded and sat down at the minibar, which was surrounded by full wall windows overlooking the outside, a sunroof, and an 80 inch plasma on the far wall. Kagome flipped a switch, and all the windows dimmed. She pressed a button on a remote, and a radio started playing Barry White. The lights changed to a red glow and fan started blowing a strawberry scent around the cabin.

I quirked an eyebrow "Does this come standard?"

She glanced at Kikyo, who was dipping strawberries in a chocolate fountain in the back, "I had this set up for our flight to where we would be spending our ACTUAL honeymoon. I thought it would be just the two of us."

I wondered if Kikyo would mind being thrown from an airplane. Not only did she screw up my sex life, she fucked up my honeymoon. Kagome had the perfect little private love nest set up and I was dragging a court witness along for the ride.

I sighed, "Well we can always hang a 'do not disturb' sign on the hotel door."

She smirked, "I plan to have it super glued to the door."

Lord help me. I had to survive a four hour flight knowing what was going to happen when we landed. I wondered if the plane had showers. I was going to need a few cold ones. And no, I'm not a sex-starved pervert. Just a guy who's had his fair share of misfortune and just learned that his long awaited reward was suddenly postponed.

* * *

An hour later we were watching COPS reruns. I was fairly certain that I knew a few people on the screen. I have relatives who live in the deep south of Kentucky. Distant, but relatives all the same. And boy were the family reunions fun when I was a kid. I remember watching TV with my cousin when I was fourteen. He asked if I wanted to watch that show COPS. I told him sure why not. So we went out and sat on the back porch. And it was a rerun, figure that out.

Kagome and I were cuddled together watching a man in uniform handcuff a DUI on the side of the highway. DUIs weren't my department, and I was glad they weren't. people are idiots when they're drunk.

The officer was reading the idiot his rights:

"_Anything you say can and will be held against you."_

The drunk laughed for a second and replied:

"_Boobs!"_

I spit out my Coke and laughed until my sides hurt. The cop had to stop for a minute before continuing with the arrest. I think the cop, who just happened to be female, was contemplating shoving the guys nuts up into his nose. I saw her reach for her stun gun and the commercials started.

Kagome was shaking her head, "Sad part is, that happens more often than you'd think."

I pondered this, "Really?"

"Sure, I got all sorts of weird shit when I was a regular officer before I got into the REPO business."

"Like what?"

"Well, dispatch got a 911 call from a woman who claimed the mailman was lying in her kitchen floor, out cold, not able to breath. It was routine until dispatch wanted to know why he was knocked out."

"Why?" I asked.

"She said she gave him a scratch off ticket."

"Like lottery ticket?"

"Yep. Said he won half a million."

"And he feinted?"

"Nope, but that was the first question dispatch asked her."

"Why then?"

"She hit him over the head with a frying pan and took her ticket back."

Again, my spleen was threatening to burst, "S-s-seriously?" I managed to choke out.

She nodded solemnly, "Swear to God. She was arrested for assault and battery, then theft."

Kikyo came back from the bedroom. She had been complaining about airsickness.

"Hey, what's so funny?"

"It's a long story." I said.

She shrugged, "Oh well. I'm going to talk to the pilot. See how long until we land. I'm starting to get jetlag."

She disappeared into the front cabin.

I looked over at Kagome, "Call me crazy, but I think we may actually get along on this trip."

She nodded, "I know, I didn't even half to scrape oatmeal out of your shoes this morning."

"You scrape oatmeal out of my shoes?"

"Shit. That slipped out by accident. Don't listen to me."

"Kagome..."

"She only did it the morning after you crashed her party. I cleaned your shoes before you woke up. I told her not to do it again."

I stood, hands at my hips.

"**KIKYO!**"

**Please R&R Thanks. And thanks also for staying with me. I took a small break from writing over Thanksgiving. But I have a lot of new chapters for both stories that I will be uploading one a week for both of my stories. Never fear, I have returned!**


	5. Such a Night

**Disclaimer: I own nadda. Zilch. Zip. Nothing.**

So, here's the thing. I was really trying to make an effort to be nice to Kikyo. But the bitch was making it really, really, really…really difficult. The whole oatmeal in my shoes thing was bad enough; Kagome had to physically restrain me from throwing the woman out the window at 30,000 feet. But, in my defense, those shoes were $300. The second most expensive thing I owned before Kagome came along. Reluctantly, we had agreed to a truce: Kikyo didn't put food in my clothes and I didn't strangle her in her sleep. This treaty was made official by both of us signing our names on a piece of paper Kagome had written on. Kagome and a stewardess signed as witnesses.

The plane landed shortly before midnight. We grabbed our bags and headed into the airport. It was a balmy 85 degrees at the airport in Miami. And the sun hadn't come up yet. And while one part of me complained about the heat, the other remembered the bikini Kagome had packed. Or more like dental floss with a loincloth. What the other woman had packed, I didn't care. No doubt something that would emphasize that _the girls_ were ready and willing. I however had no desire to ogle at her, or any other beach goer. Kagome would have my nuts on a chopping block if I did.

We entered the complex and found a man behind the counter to talk to in order to find directions to the hotel and such. I guess I should have figured out what sort of image a guy getting off a private jet flanked by two women would induce. The poor guy behind the counter was looking at me with obvious envy, as well as a look that labeled me as one of two things: a high-paid business executive, or pimp. And it looked like he was leaning toward pimp. Damn aviators.

Our hotel was on the boardwalk, with a view of the ocean that inspired many before us to write books, poems, jump to their death, etc. upon entering the hotel; we were greeted with the sight of pure luxury. Crystal chandelier, lounge, continental breakfast, and a sign that pointed towards the pool.

The guy behind the counter had a name tag that said "Clay". I would have guessed "Skippy". He was classic surfer bum, only someone, probably his mother, had forced him to adorn civilized attire. He still had a ponytail and a tattoo of the "Bud Light" logo on his neck.

His jaw visibly dropped when we approached the counter. His gazed was locked at mid-chest on the girls and I was a figment of his imagination. I cleared my throat and he decided to clock in to work.

"Welcome sir. Do you have, like, a reversation or sumthin'?"

He sounded like he was reading a script. So I played along.

"Yes we do have a res-er-va-tion," I said slowly, correcting his grammar, "The name is Tashio."

He looked at his screen, "Oh yeah! Dude you guys are on like, the top floor. Penthouse."

I looked at the girls, "Can you find the room? I need to go back to the rental. I forgot a few things in the car."

They nodded as I handed them the key-card. They disappeared around the corner to the elevator. I was about to head back to the parking lot when I was stopped by the attendant.

"Dude, you are like, so lucky. Are you like, bangin' both of them?"

Now here's the thing. I would've liked to tell him I wouldn't touch Kikyo with a 39 ½ foot pole, and she was just a witness. But that would blow our cover. And I couldn't confirm his suspicions. I'd end up nut-less.

But you know, this old hanyou is so smart and so slick, that I thought up a lie, and I thought it up quick.

"My sisters and I vacationed in New York this year. I took us all there. Now I'm bringing us back here."

Was I speaking in rhyme? I was actually speaking in nursery rhyme to this idiot, who was, in fact, taking in every word like I was retelling the story of the first bong ever invented. And for a moment, I thought maybe finding a career in teaching would be more my style. From my interaction with this guy I figured my target age group would be 3-12 year olds.

This prompted further thought on my part as Twiddle Dumb punched buttons on the keyboard using only two fingers. What would my future hold after I was a father and Kagome a mother? Would we continue to work for Miroku? I wondered what family dinner would be like…

"_Daddy how was your day?"_

"_Great son, your mother put her foot up a drunk guy's ass while I grabbed his car keys and ran."_

"_Cool! Did you ever shoot anybody?"_

"_Well as a matter of fact, just last week…"_

I shook my head to clear it. We would be just like Arnold Schwarzenegger and Jamie Lee Curtis in _True Lies._ Proud, caring parents by day, and secret government agents by night. It almost sounded cool until I thought about career day. Boy would that be fun. A plumber, a cop, and a repossession agent.

Finally, Skippy finished punching in numbers and handed me a key-card. I took the hallway to the elevator and punched the button labeled _Penthouse._ The doors opened up to two solid mahogany doors, decorated to look like some forest magic land with tree roots and leaves carved into the door. I felt like I was going to visit Tinkerbelle.

I slipped the card into the little thing on the door handle and opened the doors. The room itself was huge. Full sized living room with a big-screen TV, hallways that led to at least three bedrooms, and a solid wall of windows overlooking the Miami skyline with a balcony and deck outside.

Kikyo was staring out the windows, her eyes reflecting the glow of the city lights.

"This. Is. Awesome. Inu, your girl really doesn't spare expenses when it comes to you."

"What do you mean?"

"She told me on the way up. She already had this placed booked for your honeymoon. She just had the dates moved up to accommodate our situation."

So basically what she was saying was that my future wife had already booked this palace—which was so far up I could have joined the mile high club—and now I was spending what was supposed to be the most romantic night of my life with my ex-girlfriend.

Needless to say I resisted the urge to throw her from the balcony.

A few hours later, Kagome and I were cuddling on the couch, watching reruns of old shows we had forgot existed. Kikyo had left hours ago to explore the pool and bar. I had given her a pager and cell in case she found herself surrounded by scary men, so I didn't feel guilty.

Kagome shut off the TV.

"You know, Kikyo isn't here. We could hang the 'do not disturb' sign now."

Speak of the devil and she shall appear. A knock on the door signaled the coming of the anti-Christ, and the going of my libido.

I opened the door to a wall of people. At least twenty, all holding drinks, and one had a full sterio system on his back.

I found Kikyo among the crowd of people heading into my love life.

"Kikyo, who the hell are all these people?"

"Your present from me. Since you had to take me to the honeymoon, I decided to throw you a little bachelor party."

"Little?"

"Okay, big."

"I don't want a party, now get them out."

"Relax, it's all okay. I met this guy downstairs and explained the situation and he said he had the perfect solution."

"You explained?"

"Well I didn't tell the whole truth, just that you were in need of a little relaxation time."

I looked over to find some guy warming up to Kagome. He was shamelessly flirting and Kagome looked about three seconds from eruption. I walked over and introduced myself to them kissing Kagome's hand while at the same time exposing the ring on her finger. Romeo got the hint.

The guy Kikyo described came over and introduced himself.

"Name's Doug friend."

"Inuyasha. And I'm not your friend."

"Relax buddy, your friend told me you need a little party since you had to make some sacrifices for her sake, and here we are."

"She isn't my friend, and she had no permission to do this."

"Look," he said, getting more serious, "She seemed pretty serious about wanting to give you a little something for your trouble. Can you just let her do this one thing?"

I searched my soul for patience, "Fine. But nobody comes on to my fiancé. She's pregnant and can't drink booze, so no spiking of the drinks. And no wild sex parties in the back rooms."

He raised his hands, "Fine. Sure. We're just here to have a good time…"

* * *

**The Next Morning**

* * *

I woke up to the sound of a door closing. I realized that I was on the floor, and was wearing no pants. I looked up and came face to face with a chicken. The stupid little bastard clucked and pecked my nose. I jumped back and realized the situation. The room was trashed. The TV hung by one nail on the wall. Clothes littered the entire room. There was a blow-up doll in the Jacuzzi on the balcony. And the room itself was a complete shambles. There goes my perfect credit.

Another person falling caught my attention. I looked over and found Doug stumbling over what was left of the coffee table. He walked through the hall, which had been made into a make-shift bowling alley and stood looking at me.

"Just a good time huh?" I asked, feeling more than peeved.

He shrugged, "I guess it got a little out of control."

I got up and grabbed him by the shirt collar, "A little? A LITTLE?"

Kagome came walking through the hallway from the bedroom, holding her head and groaning. I immediately rushed to her.

"Baby are you okay? You didn't have anything to drink did you? Even by accident?"

She shook her head, "No, I only remember calling it a night early. I tried to go to sleep, but the music was too loud. So I took one of my sleeping pills and that was the last thing I remember."

In order to combat midnight trips to the bathroom as well as Taco Bell, Kagome's doctor had given her a pregnancy-friendly sleeping pill that could knock out an elephant for a week. One 25mg pill and bye-bye, see you next Thursday.

Doug stumbled into the bathroom. There was a muffled groan and a scream before he came sprinting out, slamming the door behind him.

He looked genuinely terrified, "There's a fucking panther in the fucking bathroom."

Kagome and I blanched, "Really? Panther?"

"Yes! Like the mountain lions on National Geographic. Fucking panther."

I peeked in the bathroom. Sure enough, there really was a fucking panther in the room. And kitty wasn't happy. It growled and leaped for the door. I screamed and shut it.

"He wasn't kidding." I said.

Kagome looked around, "Where's Kikyo?"

Doug and I looked around. Sure enough, Kikyo was nowhere to be found.

I suddenly realized the gravity of the situation. I looked at Kagome and saw she had had the same revelation. Koga's star witness was missing and it was our fault. Well, not totally but still. We had a responsibility.

My mood turned frantic, "Quick, look everywhere. Tear the place apart."

Doug looked confused, "What's the rush? She's probably just downstairs eating."

Kagome spoke up, "We don't have room for 'probably'"

"What is she, some like, famous person?"

I gnashed my teeth. This idiot couldn't just take a hint.

"Just find her," I told him, "I'll explain later."

Twenty minutes later, we were sitting on the couch in a ruined hotel room, two of us with the worst hangovers of our lives. Kagome and I had the same look of acceptance and dread on our faces.

Kikyo was gone.

* * *

**Please R&R! It would mean a lot! And happy late holidays!**


	6. The Morning After

**Disclaimer: I own nothing! Got it? No-thing!**

Okay, no reason to panic. Just keep calm. That's what all the t-shirts tell me. Keep calm and—why the hell am I quoting t-shirts when my witness is lost, and maybe injured or worse. I know I don't exactly care about Kikyo, but come on, even she didn't deserve the things that could happen to a woman who ventures into the night in an inebriated state. We needed to find her and fast.

I took stock of the situation, "Okay, new tactic. Doug, you and I empty our pockets. Maybe one of us has something on them that can give us an idea of what happened."

We emptied our pockets. Doug had a few odds and ends. Nothing substantial. I on the other hand had a few cards to a few local bars and a napkin with lipstick marks and a note that said "call me". I quickly shoved that one back in my pocket. Did you see anything? Nope? Okay.

I looked at the bar cards, "Here's a few business cards to a few bars around town. Maybe one of them can tell us where Kikyo is."

It was then I noticed something about Doug.

"Doug, are you married?"

"No. why?"

"Look on your finger."

And there it was. A brand new gold wedding band with a rather large rock on his ring finger.

"AHHHH! What the fuck did I do?"

"That's what we need to find out."

I fist-palmed. Okay, so things just got a shit load more complicated. Now Doug was married and had no recollection of the ceremony. And to make things worse, I was developing a wailing sound in my ears. Wait a minute…

"Do you hear that?" I asked.

They both shook their heads.

"That wailing sound. It's coming from over here."

I followed my ears into the bedroom. By now even they could hear the noise. We followed the noise into the bathroom. I threw back the shower curtain and found—

"A baby!" Doug said.

It was a rather cute little guy. Black hair, blue eyes, and—ears? Two jet black dog ears on top of its head. Doug picked it up and I found a tail. A little, black, busy tail.

I took a sniff, "Wolf."

Doug sweat dropped, "So now we have the child of a wolf demon, who is about now probably very frantic, and will probably kill us to protect it."

Kagome took the baby from Doug and held it. For a moment I studied how right it looked for Kagome to have a baby in her arms. The crying brought me back to reality.

Doug looked around for food and came up with an apple and a few crackers. He took the baby back to the couch and proceeded to feed it.

I looked at Kagome, "For a minute I thought you had—never mind."

"What? You thought I popped the kid out? You'd know if it was me. I'd drag your ass to the hospital no matter what state you were in and beat the shit out of you 'till you were sober."

I sighed, "Okay, so we have to find it's mother and…"

"Neil." Doug said.

"Neil?"

"Yeah, Neil. We gotta give it a name."

"It probably already has one."

"Oh come on. Just call him Neil for now. And look," he gave the kid his sunglasses, "He's gangster."

* * *

The elevator doors opened in the lobby to reveal a severely hung-over hanyou, a pissed off woman, and a man holding a baby wearing sunglasses. The all-American family.

I gave out orders, "Kag, go check the pool. See if Kikyo really is just down for a tan. Doug, you check the diner. Maybe she's eating. I'll hit up the staff and see if they know anything."

I walked back to the check-in desk. There was Skippy again, manning the computer and attempting to press the attention bell with his nose.

"Hey, Skippy." I told him.

He looked up, "Dude! Back from the big night out huh? Damn that must have been fun."

I grabbed him by the shirt collar, "Tell me what you know. Now!"

"Alright! You came back with the one dude from the party and some other chick. She was wearing a really small dress and a ball cap. You were holding drinks and congratulating that Doug guy and the chick on their wedding."

"Wedding?"

"Yeah. You had just come from the thirty second chapel on 1st street."

I practically threw him back into his chair. I flew to the lobby to find Doug and Kagome sitting on the couches.

"Doug brace yourself. I know where to find your new wife."

"Where?"

"We need to go to the chapel on 1st. They can tell us who you married."

We exited the hotel and found the valet pulling around an escalade.

"Here's your car guys."

I looked at the valet, "This is our car?"

"Yeah, you drove it in last night. Hey were you guys drunk?"

"No, just excited."

We climbed into the SUV and headed for first street.

* * *

The Thirty Second Nuptial was a small church sandwiched between a grocery store and a nude bar. It had a sign out front that read 'Today two families will be joined. Please pick a seat, not a side.'"

Upon entering, Doug was attacked by a rather bubbly blonde in a fierce hug.

"Oh sweetie congratulations! And how is the bride?"

Doug stammered, "W-well you s-see, I don't know. I c-can't f-find her."

She smiled, "Well you were pretty smashed when you were married."

I spoke up, "Can we have maybe an address or phone number. And some pictures if you have them."

She went in her office and returned with a stack of papers.

"Says here that her name's Brenda. Here's her address."

Doug took the papers, "Thank you marm. Um, do you happen to do annulments?"

"It would break my heart but yes. If this really is a mix up."

* * *

Twenty minutes later we were parked in front of a small apartment complex.

I turned around and looked at Doug, "Ready to meet the new missus?"

He gripped the baby tighter, "I just hope she likes Neil."

We found the apartment number. I held my breath and knocked. The door was answered by a woman who could only be described as HOTT. Tall, long dark hair, tan skin, voluptuous, and she had two pointy wolf ears on her head.

She cried out, "Doug! Oh honey there you are! And you found Max! I figured his daddy had him!"

Doug was taken aback. Probably he was rethinking the annulment.

"D-daddy?" he asked.

"Oh yes. I knew you'd make a perfect dad for little Max here. That's why I married you. Oh where are my manners? Everyone please, come inside."

We followed her inside. Doug looked at me. "Max?"

"Yeah, I thought he looked like a Neil too buddy."

We sat on her couch. She took the baby in back and came back with a blanket. She sat in a chair across from us.

"So I guess little Max is probably hungry. None of you could have fed him."

I caught Doug sneaking a look at Kagome.

She smacked him, "I'm not _that_ pregnant yet."

Brenda got really happy, "Oh you're pregnant too? Who's the happy guy?"

I smiled and waved.

Brenda got even bubblier, "Oh I bet the little darling will be so cute. You're both pretty good looking."

I steeled myself. Now was the time to end things, "Listen Brenda about that marriage. It wasn't exactly—"

"Expected," Doug shot in, "But now I was kind of hoping I could get to know you a little better."

She winked at him, "I'd say you know me pretty well fella."

Doug looked pained.

I shook her hand, "Hi. I'm Inuyasha, Doug's friend."

"I know, you were at the wedding."

I face-palmed. "Right. But you see, Doug and I don't exactly remember what happened last night. So we're still looking for clues that could lead to knowing what happened, and what happened to our friend Kikyo."

"Oh! She was at the wedding too! She was the maid of honor."

Kagome spoke up, "So how did you two meet?"

Brenda smiled. "We met at the club where I work. One wink and a little pole grinding and sweetie just followed me around like a little puppy."

Doug was lost in thought, so I prompted further questioning. "About Kikyo, where did she go?"

"She left with some guy in a real fancy car. You told her she could go so I didn't think anything of it."

I gave her my card. "Here's my number. Call me if you can remember anything else of importance."

"Sure."

She pulled her shirt down. Then she opened up her bra cup. Kagome slapped a hand across my face and I could hear Doug utter a quiet moan. Kagome only lowered her hand when the baby was feeding. She really must have been an entertainer to be able to just whip it out like that.

I stood. "Okay. We're going to head out and try to find Kikyo. Remember to call me."

"Of course. And Doug," She winked, "Don't be gone too long."

We got back in the car and Doug looked like he was about to burst into tears.

"What?" I asked.

"I had sex with the hottest demon chick on the planet, got married to her, and I don't remember shit about it."

"You seemed pretty quick to throw an annulment out the window."

"Yeah well…she seemed nice."

I rolled my eyes. "Sure."

* * *

We went back to the chapel to find another car parked out front. Some other poor chum is probably tying the knot with some chick he'll never remember. I felt compelled to stop it before it happened.

I burst through the door to find two men talking to the owner lady. They looked around at us when we entered the door.

One pointed at Doug. "There he is! He's the one that married the whore!"

Doug got angry. "How dare you she's a nice lady!"

I stepped between the two. "Have we met?" I asked them.

"Yes," one said, "We met last night when we kidnapped Kikyo."

"How do you know her name?" I asked.

"Bankotsu sent us for her."

"Bankotsu? He was one of the ones we busted in Jersey with Naraku!"

"Yeah and he ain't to happy about it. he said to tell you if you want to see Kikyo alive again, you tell that bastard cop Koga to drop all charges, or his prized witness will never testify."

And with that, the two men walked out the door and disappeared.

"Now what?" Doug asked.

* * *

**Please R&R!**


	7. Gift From Above

**Disclaimer: You get the drill. If I owned Inuyasha, things would have turned out a little different…**

**A.N. Hey guys! I know it's been awhile, but in my defense the flu brought me to my knees. Even the Great Lord Sesshomaru would have no choice but to admit to a disturbance on this one. But I'm feeling better now so on with the show!**

* * *

_Last time…._

"_Have we met?" I asked them._

"_Yes," one said, "We met last night when we kidnapped Kikyo."_

"_How do you know her name?" I asked._

"_Bankotsu sent us for her."_

"_Bankotsu? He was one of the ones we busted in Jersey with Naraku!"_

"_Yeah and he ain't too happy about it. He said to tell you if you want to see Kikyo alive again, you tell that bastard cop Koga to drop all charges, or his prized witness will never testify."_

_And with that, the two men walked out the door and disappeared._

"_Now what?" Doug asked._

* * *

If you ever want to be wierded out beyond all belief, take a morning stroll down some of the streets of downtown Miami. I guarantee your own problems will seem insignificant. Don't get me wrong, there's plenty to make you remember you're in a culturally rich environment. The street art is amazing and the musicians who set up on the sidewalk are usually pretty good. It's just those…few people that make you want to turn tail and go in the opposite direction as fast as possible. And my little posse had our fair share of weirdoes.

First was the woman. She was a rather pretty blonde, with her hair reaching well past her waist, and she seemed nice enough. The only problem was she was running up and down the street, questioning everyone about where to find "underpants". This was the only word she seemed to relay to everyone.

She had pestered about two dozen people when another woman came running up the street calling her name. The underpants lady was talking to us when her friend arrived. She seemed rather frantic. However we were preoccupied.

"Underpants?"

I shook my head. She looked at Doug.

"Underpants?"

He shook his head. Finally she looked at Kagome.

"Underpan—"

"Chi! What have I told you about running off on your own?"

Chi cocked her head.

The other lady shook her head as if to clear it.

"I mean, ehem—"

She rambled off in what sounded like Japanese. Finally the other girl got the message and stood off to the side. The other woman approached us.

"I'm so sorry. She's just learning English, and I'm afraid she doesn't know very many words yet. I believe she was trying to ask where Saint Vance was. It's the facility where we teach foreigners how to speak enough of the language before going out on their own."

I nodded, "It makes sense the church would offer its help to those who are in need of it. I didn't catch your name."

She offered her hand, "Forgive me. I am Caterina. I work for the local Bishop in the social resources department."

I was intrigued, "It seems as though the church has made strong ties with the people."

"Yes, there isn't much goes on around here we don't catch wind of."

I had an idea. "You didn't happen to hear about a kidnapping did you?"

She looked shocked, "As a matter of fact yes! We heard it through some of our regular study students that some of their old gang buddies had been working in the area again. These young men are on the road to repenting. They've realized the dangers their old life style presented."

"Maybe we could be of some help to each other," I said, "My fiancé and I are government agents from New York. The woman that was taken is a star witness in a case that could put a very bad man behind bars for a long time."

She smiled, "And you would like to ask a few questions of the young men I told you about?"

"That would be very kind of you."

She seemed to look right through me, "There's something else on your mind."

I blushed, "Well…you see, our hotel we were staying at most likely doesn't want us to return. We caused quite a stir when we found the woman missing. We tore the place from top to bottom. If you were to provide us with shelter and food for a few days, we would gladly do whatever we could to return the favor."

She held up a hand, "Say no more. I will gladly lend you the hand of my division. And as for lodging and sustenance, we have enough for many mouths. Three more won't make a difference. However, I do insist you meet the Bishop. He may be able to lend you resources I cannot."

Kagome sent me look number 26. The "good job" look. She shook Caterina's hand.

"Thank you for your hospitality."

She smiled, "Think nothing of it child. Are you to be wed to this handsome hanyou here?"

She smiled, "Yes mother. And having his baby."

Caterina swooned, "Another new life! Come, come. You all must be hungry."

Doug hung back, "I'm gonna call the missus. You know, update her."

I grinned, "Miss her already huh?"

He glared at me but I could see the red on his cheeks, "Hey she's a nice lady."

* * *

Twenty minutes later we were seated in front of the desk of the Bishop Caterina spoke of. He seemed like a nice guy. He looked only a little older than me. Long white hair, glasses, and a smile that could tame any evil mind.

He introduced himself, "Hello friends. I am Father—"

"Abel Nightrode." Kagome said, "I've seen you a few times on TV."

He smiled, "Yes, I have dabbled in the electronic business a bit. Helps reach a wider audience."

He looked around his office. The whole room was high tec. Computers, motion lights, big screen TV, and all manner of little odds and ends that no doubt cost a pretty penny.

He gestured to the room, "Gifts from avid members of my flock. They tell me I must "keep up with the times"."

He smiled. His members meant the world to him.

Kagome spoke up again. "It's also no secret about your…condition."

His look sobered. "Yes, but I assure you that you and your friends are in no danger whilst you are here."

I looked at Kagome, "Condition? Danger?"

Abel looked at me. "I am a Crusnik. A special type of demon that feeds on the wicked souls of the evil and is sworn to protect the light. Naturally I became a priest."

His look brightened, "But now you all must be hungry. Please Caterina, show them the dinning hall."

She nodded, "Of course Father."

She led us to a large room with rows of long tables. It kind of reminded me of Hogwarts. Only less sinister, and there weren't candles floating in the ceiling.

We continued walking until we were halted by a booming, rather monotone voice.

"Caterina, who are these people?"

We turned around to find a man in a trench coat walking toward us.

Caterina held her hand to her heart, "Father Tres you scared me! These are new guests. They will be staying for a while."

He nodded, "Protocol dictates that I introduce myself. I am Father Tres Equis. Assistant to Father Nightroad."

Caterina smiled at him, "You'll have to forgive Tres. He acts like a robot sometimes. He is the sort of security keeper on the grounds and quotes the rule book like scripture sometimes."

Tres looked no different, "That is my job Miss Caterina. Are you taking the guests to see the head Sister?"

She smiled, "Yes, she only returned from abroad a few days ago and I haven't been able to see her yet."

Tres cracked a small smile, "She is the Father's wife. She believes it her job to assist wherever necessary."

Suddenly there was a shout.

"Dietrich no!"

We rushed into the kitchen to find a rather attractive redhead scolding a man who was stirring something in a pot on the stove.

"Dietrich I told you not to add rosemary to that! It'll go sour."

"Sorry Sister Nightroad. It won't happen again."

The redhead turn to us, "Oh, excuse me. Sister Esther Nightroad at your service. How may I be of assistance."

Caterina spoke, "These folks are hungry and tired. The woman is pregnant and could use a place to rest her feet."

The Sister rubbed her own stomach, "I know the feeling."

I was confused, "I thought priests couldn't get married."

"Yes, but we were married before we entered the church. That is the only exception."

I was satisfied.

The oven timer went off and she extracted a dozen of the best smelling rolls I'd ever smelled in my life. I could feel my mouth watering with the same intensity it waters when Kagome takes her clothes off. Speaking of Kagome, being pregnant and hungry all the time she was also looking as though she might bite the good sister's arm off for a sweet roll.

Esther smiled, "Would you three like something to eat?"

Ten minutes later we were all plowing through a feast that the good sister had prepared from the kindness of her heart. Kagome was tearing through her seventh sweet roll, her fifth pancake, and her ninth slice of bacon. I saw her eyeing the last sweet roll that I had been wanting.

Her eyes watered, "Inu honey. I'm carrying your baby. I need the nourishment."

I steeled myself. "You're faking. Besides, you've already eaten everything else, can't you leave some for the rest of us?"

I reached for the roll and she growled at me.

"Touch that roll and I tear your throat out."

Esther gasped, "Goodness! Such violence!"

Doug suddenly rose, "Excuse me, but I need to make a phone call."

Kagome had taken the last roll behind my back. She was licking the icing off her fingers.

"Inu why can't you cook this good?"

"That's the hormones talking."

"You wish."

"I'm going to find Doug."

I found him outside talking on his cell. I stood behind a banister to listen.

"Uhuh. Uhuh. Yeah. I know."

This was getting boring.

"Oooh. I liked that one. What else are you wearing?"

Say what now?

"The pink garter belt? And the little bow in your hair. Are you doing…anything at the moment?"

My ears picked up the sound of a woman moaning on the other side of the phone. I suddenly realized what was going on. And if Doug stuck his hand down his pants in church, I'd kill him.

I suddenly had an idea. A wonderful idea. But it was awful. A wonderful, awful idea.

I sauntered out from my hiding place. "Hey Doug what's hanging?"

He froze. "Sorry, but I'm going to have to call you back." And he hung up.

"Business?" I asked.

"Yeah. I had a client."

"Your wife doesn't count."

"Shit."

"You were about to have phone sex in a church. And it would look real bad if I had to kill you for doing it."

"This place is great isn't it?"

"Yeah, and the people are going to be a huge help."

We took ourselves on an unguided tour of the premises. The compound was huge. Everywhere we looked there were hallways leading to another dozen rooms. People scurried back and forth across the courtyard in the middle and down halls into rooms. Finally we followed the sound of singing. It led us to a large auditorium where a choir was practicing.

We watched for a few minutes until there was a pause. The director was having a fit.

"You people actually have to practice you know. I'm not Whoopi Goldburg."

Finally we found ourselves back at the office of Father Nightroad. He motioned us in. kagome was seated with Esther and Tres stood off to one corner.

Abel held up a file. "This is all we know about the people that kidnapped your friend at the moment. We will try to do more, but that will take time."

I took the file, "I don't know how to thank you for this."

He smiled, "Someday, I may call upon you to do a favor for me. Until that day, except this as a gift."

I flipped through the file. "This says that there's a popular hangout downtown where we might find those two guys. Some place called Corleone's. I say we go have a chat with our kidnappers."

Kagome cracked her knuckles, "We going to the mattresses?"

I smiled, "We're gonna make 'em an offer they can't refuse."

**Thanks for reading! Please R&R! it would be greatly appreciated!**


	8. Him

**Disclaimer: If you don't know by now that I own nothing, you really do need to see a doctor.**

* * *

We arrived at Corleone's at half past six o'clock. The place was a regular bar with regular people milling around outside. It was what was on the inside that had me nervous. Doug had bought some sort of pastry that he'd been sharing with us for the trip. A pastry I was all too familiar with being from the Big Apple. A cannoli.

Kagome was working on another piece when we pulled into the parking lot. She holstered her gun and kept chewing.

"Are we here already? I'm not done yet."

"Leave the cannoli, take the gun."

Doug spoke from the backseat of our rental, "Why does that sound backwards?"

I shrugged.

We entered the building and it was like you see on TV. A bunch of biker dudes sitting on the bar and playing pool while music came from a vintage jukebox. And when we entered it was like you see when the hero enters the saloon in an old Eastwood movie. The music stopped and heads turned our way.

Doug was suddenly cowering behind Kagome. Ok, tiny ouch to my masculinity on that one.

A rather scary looking paragon of society came waltzing up to us. Late twenties and tatted up to where I was wondering if his face was real or just an illusion. And then came the one small disadvantage of having a hot as hell girlfriend. People feel compelled to try to convince her that their much better than what she has at the moment. We'd been in this situation before and it didn't get any easier each time it happened.

This Easy Rider wannabe was looking at Kagome as though she were lunch. And Kagome was giving him look number 47. The "bitch please" look. Apparently he thought he was James Bond to because he strutted up like he had just assassinated the prime minister of Whothefuckcaresland, and was expecting the girl to swoon and fall into bed with him. And I was going to laugh my ass off when the so called "girl of his dreams" put her fist down his throat and ripped his nuts up past his tonsils. I was beginning to see why Sesshomaru found pregnant and short-fused Rin to be so sexy. Kagome was HOTT when she defended my sorry ass.

Tatted Tommy popped his gum and spoke with a smirk he no doubt practiced every day in the mirror.

"Hey pretty lady. You want to grab a beer? Maybe I'll show you my sweet ride I got parked out back. And then I'll show you my car. Hehehehe."

I rolled my eyes. This guy had an IQ that was smaller than his shoe size. And to be honest, I was going to feel a tad bit sorry for him when Kagome killed him.

So I was floored when she batted her eyelashes and smiled at him.

_The fucking frak?_

"Oh I bet you let all the girls see your ride."

"No baby, you get the special tour."

Oh God kill me now. Is this seriously happening? I watched her run her hand up his chest to his mouth where she placed a finger on his lips.

That was where it got immensely better. Rip-off Romeo licked her fingertip and she grabbed his tongue and pulled it a good four inches out of his mouth.

"Listen dick-for-brains, 'cause I'm only gonna say this once. I'm looking for two sleazy looking guys, almost as ugly and stupid as you. One of these people in here is bound to know them, so I'll start with you. And if you lie to me, I will make sure you never bone a two-cent whore again."

She released his tongue. He pushed his sunglasses back up on his face.

"And if I lie and split? You ain't gonna catch me."

Kagome grabbed his shirt lapels. "Listen very closely. I may not be an expert on gang activity or how you people amuse yourselves by drowning yourselves in cheap liquor and cheap whores, but what I do have are a very particular set of skills. Skills that can make me a nightmare for people like you. If you tell me where to find the men I'm looking for, you can leave and I won't see you again. But if you lie to me I will never stop hunting you. I will find you. And I will kill you."

His Adam's apple bobbed like a buoy in a hurricane. His sunglasses were, once again, askew on his face, and he may or may not have shit himself.

"W-who are you l-looking for?"

Kagome smiled, "Good boy."

* * *

Half an hour later, we knew where to find José Rodriguez and Manny Escobar. As we turned to leave I heard the little idiot make a bad move.

"Hey! You with the bad hair dye! I hope the little slut gives it good! She must, or she'd be a total bitch to live with!"

And he threw his beer bottle. It hit just above Kagome's head, spraying the liquid all over her hair and clothes.

And that's when I heard it.

The sound I'd hoped to never hear again.

But it wasn't my fault; the motherfucker had done it to himself.

But all the same, it wasn't welcome.

I'd hoped to hide it from Kagome, but that had just gone to shit.

She knew about my human time of the month, and accepted it.

But she didn't know about my other side. The growling deep in my soul that threatened to overpower me and release itself.

…_Him._

I vaguely heard Kagome scream my name before I was engulfed in darkness.

* * *

I was floating, my mind in a dark chasm. All I saw was black. And then I heard a voice. A voice that my parents had taught me to fight for all I was worth. _His _voice.

"**Foolish hanyou pup. Mate in danger and you did nothing. I fix that."**

"No. Don't fix. Let me go! You could hurt Kagome!"

"**You think I hurt mate? You stupider than you seem."**

"Please! Let me out! I need to make sure Kagome's okay!"

"**Sleep hanyou. I finish what you could not."**

And he was gone. And I slowly slipped into a deeper, darker sleep.

* * *

Next thing I knew, I was opening my eyes. Thankfully there was an actual world in front of me instead of blackness. My happiness was short lived as soon as I saw what was above me.

Kagome had tears streaking down her face. She was sobbing, although I still couldn't hear anything. She noticed my eyes open and began shaking me. I could see her lips forming my name as she screamed it. Then, like coming out of the water to open air, I began to surface back into the world of sound.

"_Inuyasha! Inu baby please! Speak to me! inu_YASHA!"

I blurted up with a large gasp and sat bolt upright. Kagome was in hysterics.

"INUYASHA! Thank God you're okay! I thought I'd lost you! You just passed out."

I looked her over as she smothered me with hugs and kisses. Then I saw it. Her arms. They were stained with blood. I halted her showering of thankfulness by grabbing her arms.

"What happened here?" I demanded.

"Nothing baby. I'm fine. Do you need to go to the hospital—"

I halted her again. "What happened?"

She took a deep breath.

"You just transformed! I've never seen anything like it. You had all the marks on your face like your brother, but your eyes were blood red. You were snarling and growling and you attacked the guy that threw beer at me."

"Did I kill him?"

"No. I told him to run. You didn't hurt anybody."

"Except you."

"Baby I was so scared. I ran to you and held on, hoping you would come back. You grabbed my arms and held me. I thought you were trying to fight back."

"He hurt you. He promised he wouldn't."

"Who? Who's _he?_"

I looked at her with complete dread and sorrow. "My demon."

"Your demon?"

I nodded. "He only comes out when I'm in terrible danger or my mate is."

Her hand went to the mark on her neck I had made only months before. The night I proposed. We had been so happy that we had simply gone home and done things that stole the innocence away from poor Max. Not that he had any left.

But all that had just changed. No doubt she was now disgusted by what she had just seen. Most likely terrified. I knew what happened next. The same thing that always happened when a human knew the true identity of a hanyou. Regret. Anger. Resentment. She would push me away and demand not to see me again. I supposed I deserved it.

I would go back home and resign from the office. I would crawl to Koga and apologize for failing. And last, and most painfully, I would go back to my house, pack up my belongings, and go. I would find a way to reverse the mistake Kagome would now see on her neck. And I would go back to my parents to live in exile while the love of my life walked away**. (A.N: I know! Don't kill me! It gets better!)**

I went to one knee and stood. Kagome tried to steady me.

"Inu wait! You're not ready to stand yet!"

I shrugged her off and went to the parking lot. I paused as nausea overwhelmed me and I threw up right there on the tarmac. Kagome was not far behind.

"INU! OhmiGod! We need to get you to the hospital. NOW!"

I waved her off. "Go. You probably want to now anyway."

She stopped. "What do you mean?"

I scoffed. "Don't play coy. We both know you're terrified and disgusted right now."

"Of what?"

"ME!"

"Why?"

"Because! Because I was that-that THING in there!"

"So? You turned demon to protect your mate! Your PREGNANT mate! If anything I'm flattered and honored!"

I turned around. "You mean to tell me that you weren't one bit scared when I turned into that monster? That beast that hurt you even when he promised he wouldn't?"

"Yes! And why do you keep saying _he promised_?"

"He is a _demon_. The other side of the beast you so naïvely fell in love with. My parents had taught me since I was five to fight him with all my power or else he would escape and cause God knows what sort of chaos. And he promised he wouldn't hurt you when he escaped."

She touched my cheek. "Inu. You're trembling."

I shuddered with the tears that threatened to fall. "I was terrified. I thought he had escaped. I thought that was the end. That I was gone. That he would kill everyone. The people in the bar, Doug…you. I thought you would have no choice but to put the bullet in my brain that would finally rid me of the curse that had been placed upon me."

She hugged me. She cried. She sobbed. And so did I.

"I would never kill you," she sobbed, "Even if you had killed half the country in an irreversible rage, I couldn't kill you. I would kill myself before I aimed a gun at my mate. The father of my baby. My husband." **(A.N: Sappy huh?)**

I held her tight. I inhaled her scent through my nose.

"Kagome, if you turned and walked away right now I wouldn't blame you. I would do anything to make you happy. I would reverse the mating if need be. You wouldn't have to see me ever again. Just say the word."

She slapped me. Hard. Even Mike Tyson would say "Damn woman! Lighten up!"

"Don't you **ever** say that! If you think for one minute that I would toss you out like trash because you **defended me**, you really do have a problem. I told you once that I was sinking my teeth in. and as far as I'm concerned, that little stunt of nothing else but **protection** and **instinct** has only made me bite down harder. If you want to get rid of me, you'll have to go to Hell and back ten times before I even **think** of loosening my grip."

I had no words.

"Kagome. I'm truly sorry. It's just that I love you far too much to put you through that kind of pain. But if you really do accept the animal I have become, then I really am an idiot for doubting you."

"Damn right!"

I hung my head. "I am so, so sorry Kagome."

"Shut up! Now be a good boy and kiss me. Junior was scared daddy wouldn't come back."

So I kissed her. I let loose all the passion I could muster. And she gave as good as she got. We were standing by an SUV that I was contemplating smashing the backseat window of and completing nature's call.

Until Doug popped out from shit nowhere And destroyed the mood…

"Guys! Not to interrupt the make up sex, but we have a problem."

He pointed to the street. I could hear sirens and the squealing of tires.

I looked at Kagome.

"We need to get out of here. Preferably now. Preferably discreetly."

* * *

And when the cop rolled into the parking lot, all he was greeted with was an empty slot where our car had been, and a black raven that was pecking at something in front of the slot. The cop approached the empty slot and looked around, wondering where the mysterious monster and his cohorts had gone.

He looked down at the raven.

And quoth the bird;

"Nevermore!"

* * *

**HAHA!**

**What do you think? I tried to add in some drama as well. Tell me what you thought! Please press that little button that keeps calling to you. Don't deny it. **


	9. Black Ops (Violence Warning!)

**Disclaimer: I own nothing…**

**And here's chapter 3! Hope you all have liked it so far!**

**Warning: Heavy violence ahead, including the death of some very bad people. If you're sensitive to that type of thing skip the last bit of the chapter, tell me in the reviews that you didn't like it, and i won't get violent anymore.**

* * *

We arrived back at the church soon after our little encounter at the bar. The Father and his wife were waiting. Esther looked concerned at my numerous scratches and residual nausea from my little…_episode._ Father Abel immediately sent for a meal and gathered us around the dining table in his private study. We told him everything we had learned and we told him about my sudden condition. He seemed genuinely intrigued.

"I'd heard of hanyous turning full demon before, but only in cases where their lives were in peril. Was yours?"

I shook my head. "No, but the bastard—excuse my language Father—threw a glass bottle at Kagome's head. And then I lost it."

He pondered it for a moment. "It seems as though your demon was exerting a strong impulse to protect your mate. Especially since she's pregnant. I'll have to read more on this. In the meantime, let me show you what we have on José Rodriguez and Manny Escobar. Quite the terrible twosome they are."

Ten minutes later, we were looking at extensive files of both men. They worked for Bankotsu alright. And it seemed that they were two of his most powerful hit men.

"Responsible for over twelve of the past fifteen unsolved murders in this area alone. No telling how many more elsewhere. One thing's for sure though. You won't get your information or your witness easily."

Kagome had been reviewing the files as well. She suddenly had an idea.

"Call the local feds. Tell them we have information on the location of two dangerous serial killers. Tell them we are federal agents from the East coast. Ask for permission to conduct neutralization fire mission."

Abel looked dazed. Kagome tried again.

"Tell them we know where two armed and dangerous murderers are. Ask them if we can take them out. You know…" she made the universal gun with her hand.

"But if we do that, how will we get anything out of them?" I asked.

"Simple. We get one from a distance. Make the other feel scared. Take out his cohorts around him one by one, until he's begging to be spared. Then we extract information, and complete the job."

I was excited and terrified. "You mean play the sniper game?"

"Yep."

Doug spoke up. "I thought you two didn't have heavy gear?"

Kagome shrugged. "I'll make a call."

Well that assured me.

"Should we get, like, some sort of cool James Bond-type getaway vehicle?" Doug asked, "You know to, like, complete the ensemble?"

I had no objections. I had a birthday coming up and I had been cruising the classic and expensive cars-for-sale websites. I had my eye on one, but then I suddenly felt like a gold-digger and left it alone. Kagome wasn't a tool to take advantage of.

But she only smirked at Doug's question. "I think I can find something." She looked at me.

"How do you feel about pulling the trigger?"

"You're the trained one."

"Yeah, but I got a tip from Yura that pregnant women aren't supposed to commit assassinations. Bad for the baby. Morals and all."

I knew she was fibbing but I was still unconvinced.

"I'm only trained for small arms and close quarters weapons. And that was two hours instruction from you on how to deal with disgruntled car owners. I thought snipers had months of training?"

She shrugged. "I'll teach you."

Okay, here's a little side factoid. While I now know most everything about my fiancé when it comes to menial things like where she's from, family, favorite color, favorite sex position, etc. You know, the normal stuff? However there are still parts of her life in law enforcement before she became a REPO agent and met me that I don't know and don't ask about. I don't want to dredge up any unwanted memories. I figured she'd tell me when she was ready, and I respected her for that. But that didn't stop me from guessing on my own from time to time. And I had arrived on a guess that she was a special agent for the FBI sent on international espionage missions. I suspected she was the reason Bin Laden was dead.

An hour later she had procured a range, government permission to end the lives of two wanted men, and all the equipment needed to take out bad guys at extreme ranges. Range finders, wind gauges, binoculars, maps of the surrounding area of the target area, and my baby. A Barrett M82 .50cal BMG. Video games had nothing on the real thing.

"Now," Kagome explained, "Most sniper engagements are at six hundred to one thousand yards. And I have exactly one day to teach you to be an expert marksman."

We were on the outskirts of town on a deserted road surrounded by miles of desert. She gave me the range finder and I spotted a plastic man about seven hundred yards out in the desert.

"From our position on the roof on the actual day, we would be facing the target down from us from an elevated position. Here, things are a little harder because we are at a straight line. Now first, just practice. See how she feels against your shoulder and how to properly aim."

Two hours later I was pronounced "battle ready" by our resident military teacher. I had put more holes in that plastic man than I could count. And my shoulder hurt. A lot.

Kagome patted my back. "Shoulder giving you trouble?"

She was using the "poor puppy" voice. I tried to look as pitiful as possible.

"That's okay. Let's get you home and I'll put something on it for the pain."

Damn I'm good.

* * *

Doug was at the church when we got back. He was practically vibrating with excitement.

"Did you get really get to shoot the big boy? The .50? Damn what I wouldn't give—"

I cut him off. "Say. What do you say you take a night to play tourist? My treat."

"Why?"

"Just trust me." I handed him a fifty.

"Sure. Whatever you say. I'll get something nice for you and the missus."

I had my shirt off and was in bed when Kagome finished in the bathroom. She came out bearing some sort of lotion.

"This is sort of like Icy Hot. Your shoulder should feel better in the morning after I use this stuff."

She was eyeballing my shirtless body and I knew I had her hooked. She sat beside me and began application of the lotion substance. After a while she was doing less pain treatment, and more sensual exploration, using both hands to trace delicious patterns on my chest. I saw her eyes darken and her arousal spiked. I played along.

"Why doctor, do you treat _all _your patients this sensuously?"

She smirked. "No. you are a very special and _highly_ addictive case. I do believe we need to prescribe a special treatment."

"What kind doctor? I've had pains all over. Especially in one particular spot." I smirked, "But I'm too embarrassed to talk about it."

She ran her hand along the zipper of my pants. "Now, now. I'm your doctor. You can tell me _anything._"

"Well, I've been experiencing some sort of…_hardness_. Do you think it's bad doctor?"

Her arousal reached gauge popping levels. "Let's have a look. I need to have a visual so I can properly diagnose the problem."

"Anything you say doctor."

Ten seconds later, I was naked. And my _problem_ was being analyzed.

"I do see the problem." She said, "And I have a method of treatment in mind. But I warn you. It's quite…_rigorous_."

"If you think it's necessary doc."

"Absolutely."

"What kind of treatment do you suggest?"

"Oral stimulation followed by an internal massage. And I suggest we begin treatment immediately. This could take a while."

Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy.

* * *

I woke up having dissolved my fear of hospitals. I looked over to where the good doctor was sleeping. My treatment had been rigorous, but my problem had been cured.

I gently shook her awake. "Time to get up. We have a big day ahead."

She turned. "Yeah. Did the treatment work?"

"I think so, but I think we need to apply as needed. In case the condition returns."

"Good solution doctor."

After breakfast, we gathered up all the gear. Doug was the company pack mule, carrying all the heavy stuff. I had the job of trying not to loose it on my first assignment. We exited the church with a blessing from the Father.

"May the lord smile upon your mission to save the life of an important person. And may you kill the sons of bitches that made your job harder with swift accuracy."

Doug stopped dead at the curb. "No! Oh God she did! She came through! Look at her! she's beautiful."

"She" was an Aston Martin DB9. Sleek, black, and ready for action.

"Does it have missiles?" Doug asked.

Kagome shook her head. "No, but it has cup holders."

"Good enough for me."

She threw him the keys. "Here. I know you wanted these. It was your idea after all."

"Bitchin'!"

He revved the engine and we took off. Ten minutes later we were at the target building. A large twenty story job that overlooked the vacant lot where our boys were supposed to be making a drug deal with some of Bankotstu's other clients.

We were met with building security. Doug had peeled off to take up his position. The officer pointed us to the elevator and gave us the floor number.

"We got the place all set up. It's the eighteenth floor. The book depository."

Okay, I believed in coincidences, but this was ridiculous.

An hour later we were all set up and waiting for the players to show up. What I hadn't counted on was the wind. We had at least a twenty mile per hour cross wind and my shot was almost a mile away.

"You sure I can do this?" I asked Kagome.

"Sure. Just do everything I tell you. I'll be right beside you on the scope. Just follow my instruction and we'll be fine."

Two cars pulled in the lot from opposite sides. They stopped and several men got out and surrounded the hood of one. A briefcase was presented and cash changed hands.

Kagome was glued to her spotter.

"Wait until I get positive recognition. Wait. Wait. Got him. Positive ID on both targets. You're green babe."

I took the scope and took several deep breaths. I doped the magnification to 10 to shoot for a thousand yards. And then I ID'd my targets.

Kagome was giving instruction.

"Wind's picking up. You can take the shot or wait it out. But they might leave before you do."

I continued to use an American flag flapping in the breeze as a reference.

"Keep in mind variable wind speed, and the direction of the bullet's flight path. And at this distance, you also have to take the coriolis effect into account."

The flag was beginning to still. The wind was dying down. I held my breath and leveled on the center mass of José Rodriguez. I could almost hear his heart beating. Oh wait, that's mine. Never mind.

"It's now or never, take the shot!" I heard next to me.

I pulled the trigger. Time almost stood still as I watched the air path the round had carved in the air. I followed it until it buried itself in the chest cavity of Rodriguez, creating a temporary wound cavity bigger than the body itself.

He dropped like a stone and sent the others scurrying for cover. That's when I went to work. I made short work of six other men before Escobar was the only one left.

That was when Doug tore into the lot and exited the car, gun raised and demanding to see Escobar's hands. He was promptly secured and Doug loaded him into the car and took off for the church where we would "question" him later.

We handed over the equipment to a few of Kagome's agent friends and took a bus back to the church. We were met with what the Father referred to as "church security". In reality they were something like Abel's own Swiss Guard. They kept watch over the grounds and made sure nothing went wrong during public speakings. The good Father was a prime target for those who did not respect and admire his capacity of philanthropy and willingness to help the people of the city.

When we reached the back room, Doug was slapping Manny around a little. Good cop, bad cop. We entered the room.

"Remember me?" I asked.

His eyes wide, he nodded.

"Good. Because I have a few questions for you. Number one where's my witness."

"Fuck off."

I nodded at Doug.

He produced something that looked like a car battery hooked up to jumper cables.

"Do you know what we do to people who don't cooperate?"

Manny shook his head.

"We hook them up to the box."

Manny licked his lips. "What is the um, the box?"

Doug picked up a cable. "Idiot. We take one electrode. And we put it here."

He stuck the cable down his pants.

"And we take the other electrode, and we put it her—"

* * *

After Doug's crotch fire had been extinguished, we returned to interrogation.

"Look," Kagome said, "We can do this the easy way, or the hard way. Give us the information we need, or you look like a Picasso on the wall behind you. The cops want you dead anyway so it doesn'T really matter to me."

"Fuck. Off."

Kagome grabbed two steel bars. She ripped the cover off a wall socket, and attached the wires to the metal. How? Carefully.

"Now," she said, "Are you sure you want to take this road?"

"You ain't nothin' but pussy. What can you do?"

And kagome drove the bars into his legs.

"YYEEEEOWWWW! WHAT THE FUCK! OH GOD! THE FUCK YOU JUST DO?!"

She got up close and personal. "Last chance."

He managed a "Fuck you."

Kagome turned on the light. And Escobar got ten thousand volts to his system. Veins stood out on his neck and his face turned purple as he shook in agony.

Kagome flipped the switch and returned to Manny.

"You ready to talk yet?"

He gave her a menacing look. She turned to the switch and he had a change of heart.

"NO! PLEASE! Not that! Not again! Please! W-what do you want?"

"I already told you."

He was sweating bullets. "Warehouse on the East side of town. Bankoutsu's personal factory. The place's a fortress. You'll never get in."

Kagome smirked. "We'll see about that." She turned away.

"Wait! What about me? I gave you what you wanted!"

She turned back to him. "The United States government has a warrant out on your head. Dead or alive. And I guess you just didn't want to cooperate."

"What? Wait NOO—"

Kagome flipped the switch one last time.

* * *

"Okay, seriously, what was THAT?" I asked as we were returning to the main hall.

"Information extraction."

"Okay, we need to clear the air. First the ten minute sniper training, the black ops mission, and now the professional interrogation techniques. What _were _you before you came to New York?"

She sighed. "If I tell you, would it change anything? Would you no longer want me?"

I grabbed her shoulders. "You're carrying my—our—child. And I'm going to marry you. I don't care if you were an assassin for the Russian mafia. I just want to know the full story."

She sighed, obviously relieved. "Then we need something to eat. It's a long story."

* * *

**Okay! There we go! Was it a bit too violent? I can tone it down, but I thought I'd try something new. And if you've seen **_**Taken**_** then you'll understand at least one of the references. If you didn't like it tell me and I'll fix it. But please don't be offended and leave! That's the last thing I want. R&R!**


	10. The Past

**Disclaimer: You get the drill I own nothing.**

**Alright, here we go again! The next installment. Questions are answered, pasts revealed, and a story, ten years in the making—okay never mind. On with the show.**

* * *

_Last Time:_

"_Okay, we need to clear the air. First the ten minute sniper training and now the professional interrogation techniques. What were you before you came to New York?"_

_She sighed. "If I tell you, would it change anything? Would you no longer want me?"_

_I grabbed her shoulders. "You're carrying my—our—child. And I'm going to marry you. I don't care if you were an assassin for the Russian mafia. I just want to know the full story."_

_She sighed, obviously relieved. "Then we need something to eat. It's a long story."_

* * *

**Now:**

We entered the main dining hall, where there was a small congregation of Abel's faithful talking quietly amongst themselves. I recognized a few of them from the dorm hall we shared. This evening, however, they seemed anxious.

"I'm telling you I _heard it._" One said. His friend looked skeptical.

"We have just gathered new information on a case the Father has been working on for years, and all you can think of is this? How shameful Brother. How shameful indeed."

"Who's to say he wasn't actually lying." Said another, "This building dates back to the late 1800's. There could be the possibility of—"

"Don't act so foolish! We have our jobs. I suggest we get to them."

I spoke up. "Forgive me, but I couldn't help overhearing. What happened?"

The one who started it jerked his finger at me, "You! You share the same dorm hall as me right?"

I nodded.

"Then you heard it too. Last night?"

"_What?_"

"The ghost."

I stopped dead. "Ghost? Seriously? Are you crazy? We didn't hear anything."

"Then maybe you need to be reminded. There was a mumbling coming from the hall. Then there was a creaking sound."

A creaking sound? Wait a minute, he couldn't mean…

"And then there began this rhythmic thumping and moaning. The moaning got louder, I was sure it was the spirits of our past trying to communicate!"

I bit my lip and stared at my toes. I cast a glance at Kagome and saw she was having the same problem.

"There was a great shriek! Then it suddenly stopped! I began to prey for my safety. Then it started again! And the strange thing was, it didn't sound angry. It sounded almost, um…" He paused and blushed, "Pleasurable…"

I tried to come up with an explanation. But words escaped me.

"I'm sure it was nothing." Kagome told him, "Probably just the old rafters making noise."

He pondered it, "I suppose that would be a valid explanation."

The one in charge stood, "Come Brothers. Let us get back to work and leave these two to enjoy their meal in privacy."

Once we had sat down with dinner I chanced a few words.

"Well that was…terrifying."

"It didn't turn you on just a little bit to know there was somebody listening?"

"Not really, no."

"So you want to know about the real me huh?"

"Like I said, I really don't care about the past. I just want the truth."

"Well the truth begins some years back…"

* * *

**Flashback to Kagome's POV**

_**June 13, 2005**_

_**Near Pripyat, Ukraine**_

_**SPC FCS Team Bravo**_

_**13:00**_

It was a suicide mission, I knew it was. But it was our only window. And if we didn't take it, millions could have died. And standing between the western world and a radical Jihad, bent on detonating a nuclear device in every major U.S City, were four people. One team.

I was stationed in Pripyat. My team and I were assigned to do surveillance on Ukrainian science teams doing research on material recovered from Chernobyl in '86. We were supposed to relay any suspicion of an atomic creation. We had a small room overlooking the small make-shift lab that the Ukrainian team had constructed outside of town. Our monitoring had so far turned up nothing, and we were a week from extraction.

There were four of us. Me, squad leader. There was my handpicked scout, John. Codename _Sierra._ He could drive anything with wheels and shoot anything with a trigger.

Next was our scout sniper, the one who taught me everything I now know, Macmillan. He was a transfer from Her Majesty's Special Forces. He could shoot the wings off a butterfly at a thousand yards.

Finally there was our demolitions expert. Rico. He had an unusual…interest…with dynamite. But if it needed to explode, he was your man.

Anyway, we were on yet another long haul surveillance op, which is fancy words for sitting in the window with binoculars. And yet again it was all routine. They'd bring in material, do a few radiation and acid tests, and dispose of it.

"I don' know why they make us sit 'ere and watch these buggars. It's plain seein' they're no' a threat." Macmillan grouched in his thick highland accent. (A.N I love Scottish people!)

"Just wait it out for a few more days," John told him, "Then we can all go home."

"Well it can no' come soon enough!"

"I thought we'd be blowin' shit up by now! Instead all I get is a dingy hotel room and bad cable. They don't got nothin' on these damn TV stations! They don't even have Skinamax!" Rico whined.

"Your porn addiction aside, we have a job to do, and we have to make our daily report in about ten minutes." I told him, "So why don't you put the remote down and fire up our comms."

"I still don't understand why they'd send a wee lassie to doo a proper arse whoopin'." Macmillan said.

I pulled a combat knife from its sheath. "You want me to turn you into a 'wee lassie' there govna'?"

He only grumbled and fiddled with the radio. The usual beeps and static confirmed our connection with home base in Munich.

"Eagle six this is Razor Six-Four. Requesting communications relay with command over."

"_Rodger Razor Six-Four we copy. Relay intel."_

"It's the same as bloody yesterday. Nothin' new to report. Just a bunch o' techies playin' with radioactive metal."

"_Rodger Bravo Team. Continue Surveillance. Eagle Six out."_

The radio went dead.

"Lucky bastard. He gets to sit and watch computer screens and drink hot coffee all day, and I have to babysit a bunch o' scientists!"

John was at the window. He suddenly grabbed the scope and trained it on the building.

"Hey. Look here. We got some company."

We all looked through the scopes. Sure enough there was what looked to be a truck convoy headed into the main gates. Following it was a smaller luxury car.

"Are you daft? It's jus' a regular shipment!"

"No. this is different. There's usually just one truck."

The smaller car door opened and a man in a traditional middle-eastern garb stepped out. He shook hands with another man in a lab coat and they retreated inside.

"Keep an eye out. This could get interesting." I told them.

Twenty minutes later, the two men exited the building as one of the trucks backed up closer to the door .The door opened and a cart was wheeled outside.

"Get eyes on that cart!" I barked.

The cart was covered with a tarp, but you could tell there was something underneath it. The corner peeled back in the wind, and we all caught a glimpse of what looked to be an oblong, steel object.

I looked at my team. "You know what _that _is?"

"A bomb. A big bomb." Rico said.

"We need to warn command. Macmillan! Get on the radio and hail command! Tell them we have explosives in sight."

"Roger. Eagle Six this is Razor Six-Four copy? Eagle Six this is Razor Six-Four do you copy? Aww shit, they've shut down communications!"

"We need to do something quick! They're loading the trucks." John reported.

"Alright. We have no back-up, no communications, and no sufficient plan right?" I asked. They all nodded.

"Then here's what we do. Grab all your gear and get down to the car. We're gonna follow them down the road a bit and ambush them. If we take the trucks, we can hide them someplace safe until tomorrow when command reopens comms. Got it?"

I heard three distinct 'rogers'.

Ten minutes later we were on the road following after the two trucks and the car. Rico was gaining on them and the rest of us were checking ammunition.

"Alright, Rico you get ahead of them and cut them off. The rest of us will exit the vehicle and make contact."

"Yes maam."

We followed them for about a mile out of town before I gave Rico the signal. He punched the gas and accelerated ahead of the convoy. He veered to a stop about a hundred yards ahead of them. The convoy had no choice but to stop.

"Alright. Check supplies and get moving."

We exited the vehicle, guns raised. John barked words in Arabic and motioned for the driver of the car to get out. Rico and Macmillan secured the two trucks and restrained the drivers.

"Who's in back?" I asked the car driver.

The back door opened up and the man got out. He held up his hands.

"Peace. We are simple delivery men tasked with transferring the contents of these trucks to a secure facility."

"I doubt it. Rico, open the back."

The back was opened and the carts wheeled out. I pulled the tarp back and saw the cylinder. An old aircraft bomb with the universal symbol for radiation on the top.

"Secure facility huh? Like Iran?"

"You people have no right to detain us. You are not the police."

"We're United States Special Forces. I'd say that gives us jurisdiction."

The man only remained quiet. We then heard car noises. Two vehicles peeled around the corner, screeched to a stop and opened fire. Men piled out of the two trucks and opened up with automatic weapons.

"GET TO THE TREELINE! FIND COVER!" I yelled.

We raced to the cover of the foliage and returned fire. One went down from a burst from John's assault rifle. I dispatched two more with my pistol. Bullets whizzed overhead.

Macmillan screeched into the radio.

"All open channels, this is Razor Six-Four! We have encountered heavy resistance and are requesting immediate support, over! Does anybody copy? Damnit! It there anybody—Arrghh!" his shoulder welled blood as he fell.

"Aww bugger they got me! Goddammit!"

"Fall back," I screeched, "Get back to town!"

We ran as hard as we could, John and Rico supporting Macmillan between them. We made it about three hundred yards before Rico fell.

"Arrgh! FUCK!"

His back was covered in blood. Macmillan stumbled and fell. John saw to them while I tried the radio again.

"Anyone out there, please! We have two men down and we are in danger of being overrun! If anyone can provide support we need it now!"

I suddenly felt a stinging pain in my leg. I screamed and looked down. I had been hit.

"John! I'm hit!"

"Damn! Get over here! I'll cover you!"

"I can still shoot! I'm staying here!"

He grabbed the radio.

"IF THERE IS ANYONE OUT THERE LISTEN! THIS IS SIERRA 117 REQUESTING IMMEDIATE SUPPORT! I HAVE THREE OF MY SQUAD DOWN! I NEED SUPPORT!"

Then we heard it. The small, crackling sound of a reply.

"_Roger Sierra 117, this Charlie seven. We have your position. Apache support ETA thirty seconds."_

Thank God!

Then we heard another sound. The heavy "whup, whup, whup" of chopper blades.

"_Sierra 117 this is Echo 419. Take cover, this is gonna get bumpy."_

The signature sound of .50 caliber hollow points being fired from the nose of the chopper cut through the air. The "woosh" of a hellfire screeched and there was an explosion from the trees. Many agonized cries ripped through the trees as our attackers were literally ripped to shreds.

After a few minutes, all was still.

"_Sierra 117 this is Echo 419. All tangos are Oscar Mike. Medevac in twenty seconds."_

Another chopper came over the trees. A Blackhawk. She touched down in a clearing not far from us. Four airmen came running through the trees bearing stretchers and IVs. We were quickly loaded onto the chopper and flown from the scene.

* * *

I was sitting in a small office, looking at the man behind the desk. He was taking my testimony.

"I guess someone must have warned them we were there. How else could they have known to send an attack team?"

"Thanks to you and your team, we now have positive ID on Omar Aided. A well-known Al-Qaida operative. The devices in those trucks were most likely on a course for Iran or Pakistan. You've saved the lives of probably millions."

"At what cost? Rico's dead."

"He gave his life protecting a fellow soldier. One from another nationality. That's cause for commendation in my book. For all of you. I'm putting you in for medals. Macmillan has already received the Victoria Cross for Valor. Rico was awarded the Presidential Medal of Honor posthumously. You all have your countries' thanks."

I nodded.

"Is there anything you request of a different matter?"

"Actually, there is."

"Go on."

"This past experience has made me realize how precious life is. And why I want to live mine to is fullest. I'm requesting a discharge. I want to go home. I'm done with watching my friends die."

"A noble request. I should let you know that John has profusely recommended you for an extended leave for R&R."

I smiled. "Tell him I said thanks. And about my request?"

"You have done more than what your country has asked. I foresee no problems. But what will you do when you return? It is very hard for career soldiers to settle back in to normal society."

"I'm not done carrying a weapon. I still want to serve. I have a friend in the states who runs a repossession business. I can find quick work."

He smiled. Three days later I was on a plane headed for JFK with my discharge papers in my hands.

**Back to normal Inu POV**

I stared, open mouthed. I couldn't believe it. She was Special Forces a career soldier. A total badass, kickass, and deadly soldier! And a decorated hero! And she was going to marry _me_? And have _my _child? Because _she _picked _me?_ A common civilian? A part of me was honored to watery eyes and another, lower part was turned on immensely. There was just something about a woman who could kick ass and take names one moment, and be a passionate and seductive lover the next.

She grimaced. "So that's it. That's my story."

She pulled a small leather box from her bag and opened it. Inside was a Silver Star pin.

"I got this two days after I hit the shore. Miroku hired me a week later."

"I thought you were a cop."

"I was, technically. I didn't always take cars. Sometimes I just did notice deliveries or recon."

I took her hand.

"This is what I'd wanted to hear. Now I can say that I actually _know _you."

"You don't think I'm a military freak?" she looked skeptical.

"Absolutely not! Babe you're pregnant with our baby. How could you be a freak if you're capable of such compassion and caring? Hell you chose to marry _me _for God sakes. I still find _that one _a bit hard to stomach. Why didn't you want some other badass, handsome, muscled, huge guy?"

"I was tired of tough guys that tried to impress me. I wanted someone more stable mentally. Besides," she added with a coy wink, "You're pretty hot stuff if I do say so myself. And to your credit, you are pretty huge."

I blushed, "I meant in stature."

"That too."

I turned pink.

"So you really don't care?"

"Nope. I just wanted to know who you are is all. I didn't want to live with someone who has more secrets than our government."

"Well anytime you want to know something ask okay? I don't want secrets either."

"I promise not to pry."

She grabbed my hand. "Now that that's settled, what do you say we do the good brother a favor and bring his ghosts back?"

I smirked. "We'll have the Discovery Channel here by next week."

* * *

**And there it is! The official story! I hope you found it entertaining! Next chapter we find Kikyo! Then we get our lovebirds married, have their kid and end things once and for all. We're almost there!**


	11. Last Assignment

**Disclaimer: I own nothing!**

**Finally I'm back! After a bout of computer trouble that ended in a trip to best buy and a week long wait, I have finally been able to speak to you wonderful people again! And now on with the show!**

* * *

Why is it that all good things must come to an end? Here I was, blissfully slumbering after a night of mind-blowing sex, my partner now resting comfortably on my chest, her steady breath tickling me gently, and some nutcase comes banging on our door at the ungodly hour of, I checked the alarm, noon? Oh. Well maybe this wasn't so bad then. I gently shook my lady awake.

"Kags? Babe it's time to get up."

She slowly opened her eyes and smiled at me. I could smell myself on her and inside her, and she must have known I was taking a whiff, as she bared her neck and I took the liberty of breathing her in fully, my face buried in the crook of her throat.

"What's up?"

"Some rude person is raising holy hell on our door step."

"What time is it?"

I hesitated, "Noon."

She shrugged, "Well, after last night I thing noon may be a bit early."

I smirked, "Think the good brother heard his ghosts again last night?"

The wicked smile came back, "He was probably hiding under the bed all night."

The knocking continued.

"Please open the door! We have important information on your case and Father Abel requests your attendance immediately!"

Kagome was out of bed and headed for the door before the man had finished his sentence.

"Kagome, wait."

"You heard the man! We need to go."

"But Kag—"

"Out of bed now before I decide to reenact prohibition on sex."

"KAGS!"

"What?"

"Baby, you're naked."

She looked down, "Oh. Why didn't you just say so?"

Face palm…

* * *

"Ah, you're both here! Now I believe our operatives have finally pinpointed the exact location fo your missing witness."

Esther came in bearing a series of street maps and photographs. So the good Father was also a running branch of the FBI? These people were getting more exciting by the day.

Esther laid out the maps and photos and we studied them, looking at the exact warehouse the prisoner had described. And he had been right. The place was a fortress, with guards on the roof, guarding every entrance, and roving the perimeter with dogs. There were also several vehicles that we could only assume held weapons of our destruction.

Abel pointed to a small window on the back side of the building.

"Here is where we have found the building to be the most accessible. Our surveillance has revealed that the guards almost never go by this particular area, although they do perform a total property sweep every forty-five minutes."

I shook my head, "Even with the small window of opportunity we'd need a miracle to get Kikyo out before anybody noticed. She's got to be under lock and key and well guarded. There's no way to do this secretly. We have to go loud and hot."

Kagome studied the evidence for a minute and pulled out her phone. She took a few pictures and left the room.

"I need to make a few calls." She told us as she walked through the door.

"Our inside contacts have revealed that your witness is being held in a small room in the center of the building. Only one access door. Now with the exception of a miracle, there is only one option."

I gulped, "Direct attack on the Miami equivalent of Fort Knox."

Abel chuckled, "There, there child. You won't be going in alone."

"We won't?"

"No. I have people and contacts that will make your job easier."

"Like whom?"

"Just wait and see…"

Kagome reentered the room, "Okay, can we be ready for an attack by tomorrow? I have people coming to assist."

"Abel has graciously offered his assistance."

He smiled, "I have friends in high places."

* * *

So there I was, sitting outside on the stoop of a church, loaded for bear, with at least twenty other guys who were also locking and loading, and Kagome, who was scanning the road.

"What are you looking for?"

"Abel's contacts and ours. They should be here any minute."

Just then three Cadillac Escalades rolled down the road and came to a stop in front of the church. The door of the lead vehicle opened and out stepped…

"Urd?" I said.

She nodded, "Kagome called. Said you guys might need some help. We flew in last night."

"Who else?"

Koga emerged from vehicle number two, "You guys call for the cavalry?"

Kagome shook her head, "They'll be here in a minute."

The rumbling of the earth stopped ant further discussion. We looked down the road and I felt my jaw visibly drop at the sight of Father Abel's 'contacts'.

At least ten heavily armed Hummers, the military kind, rolled down the street, each loaded full with four men and a gunner on top. Following them were SWAT vehicles. The real black van things you see in Grand Theft Auto. But the real surprise came last.

I was looking down the barrel of the 120mm cannon on the front of an M1A1 Abrams MBT. The real thing from Call of Duty. And then a second one pulled out from the road ahead and started down toward us.

They came to a halt, side by side. The top hatch opened and the two commanders popped out.

"Florida National Guard, second battalion, tank division reporting for duty as requested."

Father Abel came down the steps, "Good you're all here then. Now this is a joint operation between the National Guard, the Miami police depot, the FBI, and a New York bail bond agency."

The SWAT guys looked impressed. Yay!

The tank guy hopped down and approached Kagome and I.

"Since it's you two who are spearheading this operation, you get to ride up front with us."

"Can I drive?" I asked.

He laughed, "Afraid not. But maybe we can work out something else."

If he let me shoot something, I'd feint.

Kagome produced a small badge and some papers from her pocket and presented them to the soldier. He looked them over once and then saluted her.

"Ready for duty maam!"

I tapped her shoulder, "What'd you give him?"

"My old military badge and our bail papers."

The commander took an 'at attention' stance.

"Lt. James Patterson at your service."

Kagome shook his hand, "At ease soldier, I'm not your superior. I just need a ride."

He flourished an arm toward his vehicle, "Well as it happens, I have a four wheel drive."

She eyed the steel beauty, "She have a name?"

Patterson nodded, "Yes maam. We call her the _Black December_."

Kagome quirked an eyebrow.

"Well _Red October_ was taken already."

She nodded understandingly. "Just promise me there won't be a psychotic cook who wants to blow us all up."

"Guaranteed maam."

"Anybody ever notice it's always the cook?" Nobody in particular asked.

* * *

If you ever get the chance to ride in a tank, DO IT! I mean seriously, these things are AWESOME! A little cramped but that's to be expected. I was trying not to press buttons and listed to Patterson brief us on the way in.

"Now we're going to go in first. We take down the gate, neutralize the front guards and punch a hole for the rest of the team to move up. Now they don't know about us yet but our element of surprise is gonna be gone real quick. That means we gotta move fast. This kind of thing isn't normal around here whatever the TV may tell you."

"You may have to breach the door for us," Kagome said, "But don't shoot toward the middle of the building. That's where my target is."

"Copy, danger close. Alright, this is it! Two minutes guys!"

Kagome looked at me, "Ready?"

I nodded. Then I looked at her stomach. "Be careful okay?"

She nodded, "This is my last assignment before I go on maternity."

Patterson overheard, "Maternity?"

Kagome nodded and pointed at me, "This guy here's gonna be a daddy."

Patterson extended his hand, "Congrats son. But should she be doing this in her condition?"

"Probably not but she is. Just keep her covered if you can."

He nodded, "Sure thing. My wife was also pregnant with our first when she helped on the biggest drug bust this town had seen in twenty years. I've been where you are now."

He turned to his team, "Alright boys here's the skinny! We got danger close engagements. Small arms fire and the top gunner only for now. I don't want to break out the big boy if we don't have to. Remember, heads on a swivel. If you see anything resembling an RPG or C4, sound off. Hooah?"

"HOOAH!"

Chatter exploded over the intercom. The second driver listened in and reported.

"Lt, we got contacts at twelve o'clock! Looks like they know we're here!"

"Then let's introduce ourselves sergeant."

"Yes sir," he keyed his radio, "All units open fire, I repeat, all units open fire. Smoke 'em!"

And just like that we were in a war. I could hear the rounds pinging off the tank armor where the bad guys were shooting at us. The man above me returned as good as he got and better. I could feel the vibrations the .50cal was making as the gunner blew off burst after burst, working in time with the vehicle next to us. The rest of the convoy was also engaged. I could hear the sound of thousands of muffled rounds whizzing by from police side arms to SWAT rifles. I could also hear the sickening sounds made from the impact of a high powered round coming into contact with human flesh. It seemed as though the small force of Bankotsu's guard stood no chance.

And then I heard the driver.

"RPG!"

The whole vehicle shook with the impact. I grabbed Kagome and shielded her with my body.

"Damage?" Patterson demanded.

"Minimal. It exploded before it hit. Bastard shot too far off."

"Did we retaliate in kind?"

"He's paste sir."

The radio keyed again, "They're retreating back inside!"

Patterson grabbed a large 120mm round and loaded it. "Alright, prepare to breach."

"Roger." He keyed the radio, "Prepare to breach. Be warned, end exits only. Do not aim for the center. I repeat do NOT aim center field. Target in close proximity."

Patterson had his finger on a joystick, "Prepare to fire!"

The driver held steady, "Ready!"

The top of the vehicle turned twenty degrees.

"FIRE ONE!"

Once again the vehicle shook. I heard the air rip apart as the round exited the barrel. Then the explosion of impact.

"Direct hit on the south end sir!"

"Copy! The boys outside can handle this now. We'll keep outside and provide over watch."

The driver signaled the rest of the small army from the radio again.

"All units move up. The door is open. Don't forget to wipe your feet!"

Kagome shoved an assault rifle into my hands, "Here. You'll need this."

I nodded and we exited out the hatch. The destruction was awesome. Bodies littered the front lot and our small army was pushing up, weapons at the ready, setting a perimeter. I also noticed that it was only the bodies of Bankotsu's guards that littered the ground.

We met up with Koga and Urd at the entrance.

"Alright, here's the deal," Koga told us, "We got who knows how many tangos in there and we also have a potential hostage situation. Move quick, shoot to kill and get out. no slipups, no messes. Got it?"

We nodded.

We stormed the building and immediately ducked for cover as small arms fire exploded around us. I looked around desperately, trying to find the enemy. I finally settled on one particular bastard hiding behind a wall for cover.

I waited until he popped his head out and fired. His body shook with the impacts and he fell. One down, God knew how many more to go.

Kagome and Koga team-tagged two of them trying to escape to a back room and then all was quiet.

Koga signaled the others and we moved to the next room, clearing the whole compound room by room until we reached the center. I saw a padlock on a door off to the side and headed for it. This had to be it. But before I reached the door I was knocked down with a blow to the head.

I heard Kagome scream and looked up into Bankotsu's face.

"Think you can win, do you hanyou? Well sorry, but I have other ideas."

He raised a gun and I closed my eyes. My gun had been knocked away. I had no chance. I prayed that Kagome and the baby could live off my insurance policy.

Then I heard the shot. But strange, dying didn't feel all that bad. Then a weight fell on me. I opened my eyes to Bankotsu's, staring sightlessly at me, a small hole in the middle of his forehead.

I looked over at Kagome, who had her gun raised. She dropped it and ran to me. She collapsed and grabbed me into a tight hug.

"I thought you were dead." She sobbed.

I rubbed her back, "Shhh…it's okay. I'm alright baby. We're safe now."

Koga broke the lock on the door and went inside. A minute later he came out with Kikyo, tied up, but alive.

He cut her bonds and Kikyo, yes Kikyo, hugged him.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you! I thought I was dead!"

"Just doing my job maam." Koga responded.

Then Kikyo grabbed his shirt lapels and planted a kiss square on his mouth. Koga dropped his gun in surprise among the catcalls and wolf whistles from the peanut gallery.

"Yeah, show her who's boss, boss!"

"You're gonna owe me big so I don't sent this video to Ayame!"

Kikyo released him and was escorted off the scene.

Kagome and I looked at each other and smiled.

"Last assignment?" I asked.

"Last assignment. And I've been thinking. Maybe it'd be better if we decided to drop the whole REPO business thing altogether. You know, provide a stable home for the child and all."

I nodded. "Sounds good to me. Maybe Miroku will give us jobs training new agents."

"Oh no, we don't get to train new agents."

"Do I really suck that bad."

"No but the last time new agents were trained, one got pregnant and engaged on her first assignment with her new partner."

I smiled, "There really ought to be rules against that sort of thing."

"Not on your life."

I stood, "Come on. Abel will be dying to know how we turned out. And then the paperwork."

She took my hand and together we exited the warehouse.

* * *

**And another one down! One more chapter guys and the REPO universe will come to an end…unless I get more ideas. So until next time, see ya!**


	12. Epilogue

**Disclaimer: I own nothing except my own ideas.**

**Here it is! The final chapter of my REPO Universe. I hope it has been as fun for you as it has been for me! Thanks for hanging with me through all the long waits. My other stories will be finished by the weekend. I have other ideas I'm itching to get on here. So without further ado…**

* * *

**2 months later…**

Have you ever been so nervous that you have had to puke? Three times? Well that's almost as bad as I was. What they tell you about getting married is that it is a wonderful experience where you start your life with the one you love. What they don't tell you is that it's also a terrifying experience.

So there I was, in the back room of the church, pacing back and forth, practicing my vows. And while I was doing this, my ever so loving brother was doing his best to make the whole thing even more terrifying.

"Now don't forget brother, the ring goes on her _left _finger."

"Really? I thought I'd put it on her toe…"

"Sarcasm does not become you brother."

"How nice of you to notice…"

A small, plump man opened the door.

"Boys? It's time."

I took a deep breath. Here we go…

Standing at the altar is a humbling experience. Knowing that the other party can either make you the happiest person on the planet, or leave you broken and suicidal by standing you up can be a heavy burden to bear.

There I stood, my brother off to my left, texting. No doubt betting on whether or not Kagome would show. Out in the audience sat the family. Mostly mine, as Kagome didn't really talk about her family all that much. But her mother and brother were there, sure enough, sitting front and center, babbling and blubbering. My parents sat on the Groom's side, beaming at me. Rin sat next to them, the baby in one arm, a diaper bag in the other. Bouncing up and down, the kid looked almost peaceful…

Until he spit up all over Rin's new dress and sent her scurrying for the ladies' room…

Fluffy's mouth gaped at the scene. Rin sent him an apologetic glance over her shoulder as she ran, dripping, to the back hallway.

And then I looked toward the back of the chapel and drew a sharp breath. Doug, Brenda, and little Max were seated in the back, the two newly-weds happily playing with the baby. Next to them sat Abel, Esther, Caterina, and even Kikyo had come to the occasion. After she had testified at the stand to contest to Bankotsu's guilt, she was given a get-out-of-jail-free card and moved to an apartment downtown. She was currently seeing some guy who worked at Costco.

I guess some things never change…

Then the old lady at the organ took her ear buds out and shut off her iPod. She cracked her long, bony knuckles and began the ritualistic "here comes the bride". And that's when she appeared.

Gorgeous. That was the only word that could appropriately describe Kagome as she made her way slowly down the aisle. Her snow-white dress didn't over-show the baby bump underneath, rather it emphasized it, made it look like a celebration of the new life that was slowly growing inside. Her veil hid her face, but I knew she wasn't wearing makeup. My senses couldn't handle the stuff and besides, she looked better without any artificial coloring.

We met at the altar, the little priest looking down at us happily from his position. I started practicing my deep breathing exercises. I'd seen the wedding videos on AFV. I was NOT passing out into the cake…

We exchanged vows and slid the rings on each other's fingers. I almost cried when she looked at me with such love and tenderness after we were pronounced man and wife. Then she surprised me by grabbing me, bending me backward, and planting a big wet kiss right on my mouth. And I thought I was the demon in the relationship…

Rings glistening in the sun, we exited the chapel, guests throwing rice in the air and cheering. Miroku was giving a little boy lessons on how to make sea-gulls blow up from eating rice. Sango slapped him…again.

My shiny new Camaro sat at the end of the drive with the words "just married" on the back window. Cans attached to strings fluttered behind it. Kagome had replaced my baby after the original incident while tailing Naraku.

Rin and Sesshomaru came back out, Rin dressed in a sports T-shirt and sweatpants. My own brother smiled and waved at me and hoisted his kid. He pointed to the baby and then me. My first guess was he was wishing me good luck with my kid, but on second evaluation, he was probably looking for a sitter for his.

I kissed Kagome again over the console and we rocketed off toward the airport and our _actual_ honeymoon in the Florida Keys.

I'm a sucker for a good tan.

* * *

**Another 3 months later…**

"INUYASHA YOU DICKWAD, LOOK WHAT YOU DID TO MEEEEE! AHHHRGHH!"

Terrifying. That's what she was, terrifying. And she had threatened me with bodily harm three times now.

I was currently holding my wife's hand while she attempted to push a watermelon through a straw. And the grip she had on my hand left no doubts she wished she could share the pain with me. Dressed head to toe in surgical garb, I was watching the mirror above the stirrups as our little one came into the world. While it was a bit creepy at first seeing the thing spread _that wide_, I got over it as the head crowned.

"Okay Mrs. Tashio, now I want one more good push and it'll be out."

Kagome took a deep breath. And screamed.

"INUYASHA YOU FUCKING, PIECE OF SHIT, NO GOOD PERVERT, I WILL CUTT OFF YOUR BALLS WITH A RUSTY BUTTER KNIFE IF YOU EVER DO THIS TO ME AGAIN! AAAAHHHHHHRRRRRRGGGHHHH!"

And with a final push, I heard my baby's cries for the first time. Kagome looked up instantly and searched the room. The nurse had wrapped it in a towel and was bringing it over to us. A baby blue towel.

"It's a boy," She told us, "You have a beautiful baby boy."

I had a son. The thought brought tears to my eyes as I gazed at my wife and child fondly. Kagome brought him to her chest and he latched on instantly. She looked at him with such love and protectiveness it took my breath away.

She looked at me, "We're a family now Inu."

I nodded, too choked up to speak.

"And have we decided on a name?" the nurse asked.

We nodded, "Muteki."

She nodded and took him off to be cleaned and whatever else they do to a newborn.

I looked down at Kagome, "I'm so proud of you baby. We did it. We're parents."

She nodded, "Couldn't have done it…without…you."

She was fading from exhaustion.

"It's okay Kagome. Get some rest. We'll be here when you wake up."

She smiled one last time and closed her eyes. The nurse came back with the small bundle. She handed him to me.

She smiled, "You have visitors outside daddy."

I nodded. "Thanks. She fell asleep on me."

She nodded. "They do that from time to time don't they?"

I chuckled and headed for the door. Kagome was tucked in and wheeled off to the recovery room. She would wake in a few hours and we would go home. To our home.

I drew a breath and thought about the last few months.

Kagome and I had quietly retired from Miroku's, leaving Urd to take care of the payment skippers. I took a job at Koga's precinct, teaching cadets how to identify stolen vehicles. Kagome got a position working as a security consultant for a firm downtown. Her first assignment was a new Bed and Breakfast on the outside of town. It seemed Brenda and Doug liked New York better than Miami and decided to put down roots, starting with a new business.

Sesshomaru and Rin continued their lives quietly…well as quietly as they could with their baby.

Koga and Ayame had another two months to go before their little girl arrived.

Miroku finally wore Sango down and she announced her pregnancy a week ago.

Abel and Esther opened a new branch of their church just outside of town, splitting their time between Miami and New York.

Kikyo married a young doctor named Suikotsu. We attended their wedding last month. They seem extraordinarily happy.

Bankostu rotted in Hell.

Naraku became a prison bitch for a pack of cigarettes and a case of beer. Although I hear he's getting to like Steve.

I took another breath and looked at my son. He was sound asleep, but I had already seen his eyes. They were like mine. He had his mother's hair, with two tiny ears sitting on top of his head.

I opened the double doors to the waiting room.

My parents, my brother, sister-in-law, Kagome's mom and brother, Miroku, Sango, Doug and Brenda, Koga and Ayame, and even Kikyo were waiting.

My mom's head shot up as she heard the door open.

"He's here!"

I was surrounded in a microsecond by bodies, cooing and awwing. My father and brother patted me on the back.

"He's perfect son." My father said.

"Yes, perfect." My mother added. "And he looks so much like his mother."

"Thank God…" I heard Sesshomaru mumble.

I passed the baby around, each dear friend and relative getting a chance to share the new life. When he got to Sesshomaru, though, he woke up, cried, and spit up on Fluffy's shirt.

He was handed back to me.

"Kid's a good judge of character." I said.

Fluffy only patted Muteki on the head and went for the bathroom, leaving the rest of us to laugh our asses off.

* * *

Hours later, I put the car in park in my driveway. I looked at Kagome, then at the sleeping bundle in the car seat in the back. A baby seat in a Rolls Royce…who'd a thunk?

"You know," Kagome said, "We may need a bigger house."

"I'm way ahead of you. I called the realtor yesterday."

Kagome kissed me, "Did I ever tell you that you're amazing? And that I love you like no other?"

I smiled, "At least once more."

She reached across the console and kissed me again. She leaned up and licked my ear.

Then she whispered, "I love you like Hell on fire."

_FIN_


End file.
